Friday, August 26, 2016

Dialogue with Higher Self -- PART II

A Dialogue with Higher Self

Hopelessness & Despair 
through Unconditional Love


Text & Images  
(c) Copyright 2016 by Neall K. Calvert

At Lower Myra Falls    (c) 2016 Neall Calvert

* Nothing ever goes away
until it has taught us
what we need to know. *
Pema Chodron

September 30, 2010: House-sitting, Union Bay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here.

After talking long on the phone with J., I became exhausted and went into a state of agony; the next day I experienced an oncoming driver on the main highway wandering across the centre line and then heading right towards me in my lane, as if s/he was blind and had lost their way [more likely texting on a cell phone]. I had to simultaneously pull to the shoulder, jam on my brakes and lean on the horn. Still I am here, safe and secure, sitting in the warm morning sunshine, though emotionally exhausted. . . . What is the most important thing for me to know about my health / healing / recovery today?

Hello, Mr. Neall. You are becoming real, and alive. Yes, you are sore; take a few days off to recharge. You’ve never really been this alive before, so you “don’t recognize the territory,” so to speak. Even more is available. Soon you’ll be jumping up and down! You ran with the dog, Tessie, this morning. It feels good, doesn’t it?

Yes, it does. And I like my flexibility.

Your personal growth “work” is paying off. This is what you’ve wanted, isn’t it?

Yes. Thank you.

And more courage, too. And feeling safe—out of which humour can arise, and smiling at strangers. And income—proofreading and house-sitting.

Thank you again. I want help sorting out my “vehicular mobility” issues. I’ve often been guided to the right automobile at the right price. I am asking for your help again—you who are not separate, rather a part of me. I want to trust and release this whole issue of repairs and disposing of the old one and getting another car to my Higher Self; to have more faith that “things will work out”—so I don’t get stuck without a vehicle. So I can be happier. You are helping me to become happier—that I know for certain.

You are becoming wiser, Neall, learning to “let go and let God.” We do support anything and everything that adds to happiness. And we know you can learn this, just as you have learned many other things. You are a good student on the “highway of life.” We offer you every support to “become new again,” to see things from a new perspective, and are always available to help “correct” your course . . .

. . . We will not abandon you. We know what you are going through and are teachers with compassion, rather than the violence and bullying you knew as a child. Try to accept our caring, to receive good of all kinds. We radiate it outwards into the Universe. You are safe and secure and supported now, so you can change—your mind and thus your life. . . . You are tired, so we’ll just wish you a good day and say Vaya con Dios, amigos (“s” for the rhyme only: we know our grammar ).

October 4, 2010: House-sitting, Union Bay, BC

I wish to speak to my dear, dear, Higher Self.

We are here.

Thank you for helping me to become more peaceful as I reread these writings back to June 26, 2010. . . . The most important thing for me at the moment is to ask for your presence during my ICBC [Insurance Corp. of BC] interview tomorrow at 1:30 pm. [I had been involved in a traffic accident in which I bumped into a bicycle being pushed by a woman on a crosswalk; she was very slightly injured as the bicycle hit her.] I went into fear after speaking to the adjuster today. I want to come from love, and have the situation dissolve, for the highest and best good of everyone involved. Above all, to say only what I need to say, and not what I don’t need to say. I want your help in getting perspective on this.

Dear Neall:
Please accept our heartfelt sympathies for your situation. It is not easy on the mind. . . . We are for your health at every level, as you know, and will be with you for your meeting, for the highest and best outcome. Be sure to take a few moments to ground yourself beforehand. And do your prayers, as you always do in such situations. You may be surprised at the results (pleasantly). Keep up your prayer work in order to set the energy level for a positive outcome.

Thank you, that’s helpful. . . . What is the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery at this time? I’ve had a tumultuous two weeks. What exactly is happening—from the Higher Self’s point of view?

You are adjusting to a new, higher energy level, and it’s coming out a bit rough. You’re doing the right things with meditation and exercise (yoga and walking). Keep them up. Remember: one day at a time: relax, relax, relax. . . . We are with you, as friends, as guides, as companions, as inspiration, as light-bringers, as a Circle of Power and a Circle of Peace—what you want and need, correct?

That’s exactly what I want and need in this situation. Thank you. I appreciate your broader point of view. The circles of Peace and Power are particularly appreciated.

We offer Love, too—for freedom from fear and worry. Let this in—fill yourself up—and watch problems dissolve by the dozens. . . . Think of the effortlessness with which we teach. It is available to you too. . . . Don’t quit, Neall—persevere. It looks good on you. You are growing. . . . Vaya con Dios, dear one. We are never far away. Keep asking for help. We’ll keep giving it.

October 6, 2010: Timmy Ho’s, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here for you, Mr. Neall.

I’ve once again reread these pages going back to June 26, 2010, and once again have become more relaxed. There is a partnership involved here, of the kind I’ve always wanted—a partnership for my safety, security, health, happiness, purpose and path: a partnership of hope.

You’ve got it right. Exactly. And it grows according to your attention to it. So this time is well spent. You’re not in fear and worry, or catastrophizing. And you’re learning that there is a way out of your misery—with us. Believe it, believe it, believe it. It will become real (just as Wayne Dyer teaches).

Thank you. Love can build a bridge, and heal overstimulated minds, dissolve wounds, replace fear. I have experienced it—as I did yesterday at the ICBC interview. I felt confident and empowered. Thank you for your help.

We support your peace and happiness and empowerment; we know you like it, and want to get used to living from that place. It’s happening. What you’re doing is working. Carry on, Neall. Carry on “going with God”—the life you love to live.

Thank you. Please don’t stop.

We can’t—we are eternal. . . . Vaya con Dios, Mr. Neall. Love away . . .

October 14, 2010: Quality Foods Café, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self—dear, dear Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall. We are with you.

So . . . you are Kryon [channelled by Lee Carroll], and after reading the first five of his books, through my own intention, I have now taken the so-called “neutral implant” that dissolves my karma, and I’ll never be the same again? I’m going to be happier, more empowered and creative, and more confident—life without constant problems?

You’ve got it. How do you like it so far? . . .

I need a little practice at it. It’s a lot of energy to manage. I remembered today to take a moment to get grounded; I was running around a lot, spending more and more money on car repairs and getting nowhere with it.

Change is happening, Neall—as you know. You’ve got a tiger by the tail. Remember your disciplines—walking, this writing, prayer, meditation, yoga and stretching, singing / chanting (“a goodly repertoire”). . . . You are doing well with your new red-orange-yellow-pink aura. [A few days ago I was walking through Driftwood Mall in Courtenay and suddenly saw myself as if from a distance of about twenty feet: a new, colourful energy field had appeared around my body.] Wear it well. . . . As we said a long time ago in these pages, we are “experts in wellness.” You are beginning to realize the truth of that: what you couldn’t see at the time. . . . Keep going, keep growing, Neall. School looks good on you.

Thank you . . . thank you . . . thank you. . . . I’ve always wanted just this kind of encouragement; this kind of love; this kind of freedom from fear and worry; this kind of healing.

Stay tuned: more to come. . . . Vaya con Dios, Mr. Neall.

October 21, 2010: McDonald’s Restaurant at Wal-Mart, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall, and glad to be with you.

What’s the most important thing I need to know about health / healing / recovery today? Something big seems to be happening in / around / through me.

As we said last session, Neall, change is happening. Warmth is entering your soul; peace is more available. Your aura is changing colour to more red-orange-yellow-pink. As we’ve also said before, love solves many problems—or doesn’t create them in the first place. Happiness creates a whole different scenario than what you’re used to: new light; new life; new possibilities; new directions; new energies; new confidence; new hope.

It’s all true. I’m almost at a loss for words. The difference is profound. More energy, too. I’ve been looking for this for a long time (linear time).

We don’t mind how long it takes. You have studied hard. You deserve this goodness, this warmth, this love, this ease, this fearlessness, this laughter. . . . “The Good Life”—remember? It is promised to everyone. “Seek and ye shall find.” . . . Vaya con Dios, Mr. Neall: Go with your (new) God.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

October 24, 2010: McDonald’s Restaurant at Wal-Mart, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are with you, Mr. Neall.

What’s the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery today? My one-hour meditation today at 10:00 a.m. was a powerful healing experience.

You are getting your priorities in order: good nutrition, peace of mind, wellness. Although it all seemed mysterious in the past, you are “learning the language.” You know more about empowerment now; are not afraid to wield some of it (and not in hurtful way as in your childhood)—“clean power,” as they say. . . . As we’ve been saying, Neall, “School looks good on you.” And you never need to leave. And we are always available to teach: 24 / 7.

Thank you. I want to grow this “partnership in happiness.” And I want support to change my life. And I want help with abundance issues—for upcoming dental bills. Thank you for your help with this, my biggest worry at the moment. And thank you for helping me keep my “eyes on the prize”—Australia, “my place in the sun.” Courage, courage, courage.

Since you now know / believe that change is possible, it will be easier for you to believe in “big change.” It exists within the eternal, unlimited realm of Spirit, so it’s a real possibility. . . . Carry on, Mr. Neall. Your toolbox of healing techniques is serving you well these days. . . . Have a peaceful walk home. . . . Vaya con Dios, friend, partner, compañionero, lightworker.

October 28, 2010: Quality Foods Cafeteria, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall.

What is it that God would want me to know today?

Good question, Mr. Neall. . . . Have faith that things are changing. For example, you had thoughts today about leading Singalong evenings at your chiropractor’s wellness centre; you’ve had new feelings of strength in your back. You’re making feeling good your priority rather than jumping into your day in the morning. You’ve had feelings of emerging from decades of frustration with your art / creativity; taken new steps with your Flickr photo art website; communicated about your unhappy relationship. . . . You have voiced the desire to live in Love and Light, and asked for help from us with this. As you know, we are glad to help, and to be with you on every step of your journey. Helping to uplift humanity is our specialty. It can take many forms; it can take the form that fits for you. That’s the nature of this partnership—it’s a partnership in feeling good. Remember: it’s always available; we cannot fail; we have unlimited energy and ideas; we will never abandon you; you are loved; when you are happy, we are happier. . . . Think about creating happiness for others—it’ll knock your gloom out pretty fast. Especially now that you have support from [quantum healer] Dr. Adam with releasing your past. . . . We’re with you in that—don’t forget it. We’re on your side: friend, partner, companion, mentor—whatever you need, whatever it takes. We are committed to it. It’s what we do. “Believe it and you’ll see it”—everything you want and need. . . .
. . . So—“eyes on the prize,” as you’ve said, Mr. Neall (good to see you smile). . . . Vaya con Dios, from your friend and partner, your Higher Self. Go with God—protected and happy . . . [tears].

October 30, 2010: Timmy Ho’s, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall.

What is it that God wishes me to know today, in our growing partnership?

Hello, Mr. Neall. You are doing the right thing in making time for us a priority as soon as your work is done. We are glad to help you regain your strength and equanimity. As you know now, we are “experts in wellness,” and can always help. And we want to help, since we are friends and want to see our friends feeling well and enjoying the red-orange-yellow-pink energy field and new energy levels of the enlightened new age—the age of living enthusiastically, with purpose.

Thank you. That’s just what I want to hear. I want to feel better as soon as possible; get a smile back on my face; have a holiday / holy day; get connected spiritually; feel upbeat again: joyful, hopeful, warm.

We’ll help in every way possible, until you’re filled with Love and Light. You know many techniques to recharge, including long hot shower, yoga, music (singing or listening), stretching / fitness tube, walking, planning a holiday, enjoying your mandala photographs, reading a good book, shopping for new clothes, visiting an art gallery, meditation, prayer—a significant repertoire / tool box. Congratulations on having developed it—that’s your perseverance in action / evidence of progress. Comprenez? Progress has occurred / is occurring, just as you prayed for on your walk this morning. Progress, not perfection. Claim your progress, Neall, your purpose, and your path. We’ll be there with you all the way. That’s what’s available. You know we never quit—we can’t, we’re eternal. So we say: relax, enjoy the ride, the journey of life, the journey of enlightened life—with us as your “perfect companions.” We’ll get you home—we are home. . . . Vaya con Dios, Mr. Neall, man who knows his priorities, man with smarts, lightening up through his discipline of inner dialogue. We honour you, seeker of happiness. Blessings and Light, always. . . .

November 1, 2010: Taco del Mar Restaurant, Anfield Centre, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall, ready to communicate, to help raise your spirits [Neil Young on the café sound system, singing “Sugar Mountain”], to fill your heart with warmth.

What is it that God wishes me to know today, about my health / healing / recovery, or anything else?

We wish you well in your photography, Mr. Neall, and in your health-seeking. You can call on us at any time—guaranteed. We will be with you. It may take a bit of “practice” to believe that such help is always available, and in / as the colours of your new aura (red-orange-yellow-pink)—but what else is faith but believing in the Good Life? It is now possible for you—one day at a time. You’ve done well to make “one day at a time” a cornerstone of your recovery / growth process. You are now seeing sometimes how much can be experienced in one day when one is present. There is almost a kind of celebration about it—even doing routine tasks like washing dishes or housecleaning.

Thank you. I noticed that yesterday. What if there was no more of this thing called “drudgery”—that these tasks were simply another “expression of my own wonderful energy?” What a beautiful shift. Thank you for your part in this. I am grateful.

You deserve it, Mr. Neall (as does everyone). Keep asking for it and practising your disciplines. There’s more (wholeness / warmth) to come—more happiness; more positivity, hope, love, connection, success, smiles. We are on your side—eternally. There is nothing else that we do. We aren’t going anywhere. You are safe, secure and supported. You cannot fail with us. Believe it and you’ll see it; it will become real. . . . Build it, Neall—day by day: peace and happiness: like nothing you’ve ever known: holidays, holy days, days of strength and empowerment, of healing, of Spirit, of Love, including freedom from fear and worry. What more would anyone want? Is there anything more you want?

No, that covers a lot of it. I know that in counselling others, I always say, the first question is: “What do you want?” . . . Today’s my day to say what I want.

Indeed, we are on the same wavelength today. Let it in, Neall. Or—let go and let God (love you), fill you with Its healing energy. Healing is just change—change into getting more of what you want. In other words, being happier. Your goal, right?

Right. . . . And thank you for your patience. I’m not used to people being patient with me. I do appreciate it. It will help me grow.

And so it will, Neall. . . . Vaya con Dios, student, artist, writer, seeker, healer of himself and others. . . . Blessings, always. . . .

November 2, 2010: Zocalo Café, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall, always ready to communicate.

Thank you. . . . What is it that God wishes me to know today? I’m having trouble relaxing and letting in love, and am worrying about my health.

Yes, you are filled with doubt today. And that keeps your guides and angels away. Try to believe in love and connectedness. There is a change you can make in your mind. Go beyond these little human lapses you’re having; beyond the voice of the critic and the one who “needs to know everything” and the judge. There’s no happiness there, no acceptance (including self-acceptance) and no love—and no relaxation. You see the picture, what it creates—unhappiness. [Song on café sound system: Bob Dylan: “Like a Rolling Stone”—“. . . now you don’t talk so loud, now you don’t act so proud . . .”]. Perfect song for your moment, Neall. How does it feel? . . . to be on your own . . . in a brand-new city?

Right now it doesn’t feel so good [“. . . a complete unknown . . . like a rolling stone . . .”]

We will help you all we can, Mr. Neall. Remember the colour of your rose photographs [red-orange-yellow-pink]. That’s available in your mind as well. The “bad old days” are gone; the Good Life hasn’t quite arrived. But you’ve got your practices and disciplines, and a few connections; nutritional help; skills and talents; and a dream; and more courage than ever before; and your guidance system, your growth system, that will never let you down or abandon you. We even provide humour sometimes. We are friends, partners, companions, mentors in love and life, teachers, therapists—all in one (the One in All)—helping to uplift humanity, one soul at a time. As you know, we can help—we have helped you many times—and can do so again.

Obviously (or not) I don’t want to feel better today. I prefer to wallow in . . . whatever this state is called: apathy, self-pity, sorrow, helplessness, tiredness.

Getting out in the sunshine will help; so will another long, hot shower; perhaps a call to a friend, as you work your way through to the Good Life today (or tomorrow). Perseverance is your great ally, Neall. There is a better way, as the book A Course in Miracles proclaims. Believe in miracles and they are yours. This one is called “The miracle of the Good Life for Neall Calvert.” . . . You’re welcome to it. [Tears and a yawn (sign of new energy arriving).]

Thank you. I accept. I accept. Thank you. . . . It is a miracle. Energy is moving again. My thoughts have gotten unstuck. It seems possible to move forward again. . . . Thank you that I can call on you.

You are welcome. As you know, we are glad to help. “When you are happy, we are happier,” as Swamiji says.

And remind me: You are always available?

Always . . . in all ways (as you know, Student of the Light). . . . Vaya con Dios, compañionero. Be loved, be blessed, be peaceful—some of the options; ones you like. . . .

November 8, 2010: Timmy Ho’s, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall, to help in whatever way possible.

What is it that God wishes me to know today? I’ve gotten confused between Kryon and the new-age energy shift and now Swamiji, on the computer screen every day []—though I am starting to feel the warmth of the new colours in my aura, and a new level of healthy relationship with my father, after the forgiveness exercises during my walk yesterday morning. . . . Can you help clarify my path today? And confirm my need for retreat, solitude and silence?

A well-stated query, Mr. Neall. We say this: Whatever adds Love and Light to your life will make you feel better, more relaxed, stronger and lighter and more mentally / physically congruent. Whatever makes you smile is your path; whatever makes you feel hopeful, having a sense of empowerment and the ability to move forward; whatever is getting you closer to your “place in the sun”; whatever helps you release your past—including Dr. Adam quantum healing sessions and all your disciplines.

Thank you. I am changing; I’m feeling more confident most days; less fearful generally; more willing to do my disciplines; more believing in the Good Life, in its possibility. I could use a bit of encouragement today.

Good for you, to know your current state. It means you are willing to live in the present—from which you can truly move forward. . . . We are with you, Neall, in the opening of your heart (en-courage-ment: [courage, from the French word for heart: coeur]), connection, companionship, energy, compassion, helpfulness. . . . Endless help: our job: on course: helping you get on course . . . always . . . over and over again, if need be . . . forever. . . . That’s our promise, and we keep our promises. . . . We are never short of energy—something for you to contemplate, since we are connected. Fill yourself up with this. Recall the “human being filling station” of a few years back in these pages. Same thing now. It never ends . . . with you all the way. No considerations; nothing held back; no secrets; no dissembling; no dishonesty. All you can handle. Free. . . . Take this gift, Neall, and have a good day. It is freely given, no strings attached.

Thank you. I accept. . . . Having a good day is my priority. Your companionship will make it so. Thank you. Thank you for keeping going until you reached me. I am willing to learn.

And so you are. . . . Just be a student today. That will guarantee a good day. . . . Vaya con Dios, Mr. Neall. Blessings.

November 12, 2010: A & W Restaurant, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

Dear Higher Self: I’m fatigued again and want a holiday, but have no car and no extra funds. [The restaurant gets crowded and too noisy. I walk out to the street, then through the large Driftwood Mall parking lot across Cliffe Avenue. In the Quality Foods Cafeteria I begin to write what I heard as I walked.]

There is no judgment on your life, or your lifestyle, Neall. We’ll say it again: There is no judgment on you or your style of life. We’ll say it as many times as necessary . . . even all day (we have as long as it takes to change your mind to a happier state). This is all we have to do today—or any day. We are not rushed; we don’t have “another appointment to get to”; we believe healing requires patience, and we have that. You have our full attention. . . . Bask in it . . . in this part of yourself that is free from rushing around and from fear and worry and the misery of self-judgment and self-criticism. . . . We celebrate this peace, this holiday (holy day) with you, now.

So, the real holiday I need is a holiday from my negative mind: the judging, criticizing voice that gives me no peace.

You got it, Pontiac. . . . Glad to be of help today. . . . Your friend, companion, guide, mentor—your Higher Self. . . . Vaya con Dios, Neallerino.

November 13, 2010: My home, Sandpiper Drive, Courtenay, BC

I’m exhausted, and have lost my faith. What’s the point of going on in this way, having to manage my health seemingly day and night, with hardly a break. There’s no happiness here, no joy, no hope for a better life. Anything I do that could increase my income contributes to more fatigue. There must be a better way to live. The only way seems to require a “constant miracle” of divine intervention in my life, moment to moment. Perhaps the question then is, “Am I worthy of that?” And that is what I have struggled with seemingly forever—lack of self-worth. I feel I don’t deserve diddly-squat.

We are with you, Mr. Neall, in this call for help, for understanding, for recharging, for Light and hope and joy; to know your purpose and to have the energy to live it. As you were aware today, you have come a long way—and there’s a long way to go. That’s the journey of reality—the journey into real life. You’re getting a taste of it (and you like it), but you’re like a baby in it still; a newcomer (as you are to Courtenay). Things are different here: friendly bus drivers and store clerks and waitresses. And you’re experiencing successful shared living; an invitation to display your photography; Internet attention from your blog of this material; not to mention your (still) new, exciting mandala photographs, your finding of healers who will adjust their fees to suit your budget, your new Flickr photo website [], and your three (!) books proofread to appreciation, two cover designs enhanced, and praise from your publisher. Do you understand yet how you might be fatigued (as in your dream of “E.L.F” [extreme level of fatigue]), stressed and thus unhappy? You are simply overwhelmed (due to your spiritual sensitivities).

Okay, I’m getting it. . . . And there are no funds for a car or a holiday. This is my life theme. I know this situation has gone on for years, even decades: unworthiness, undeservingness, not enough money, therefore no holiday or relief from stress. It’s hurting my health. . . . I’m turning this whole pattern over to my Higher Self. I’m asking for help from my “friends in high places.” My small self doesn’t have the answers any more.

You’re already getting some ideas: long, hot shower; call a friend (briefly); get off the computer; take extra Immunocal supplement; go out for a good meal or to the library to read; roam the shops to soak in the abundance; think of spring flowers coming; pray, do yoga or meditate; sing a bit or listen to good music; think of only Love and Light; think of us—of those who wish for you peace and love and joy, and need only to be let in, to make a small contribution to the state called happiness, to “infiltrate” its principles into your mind.

Thank you. I’m getting more relaxed. I wanted some attention—what I never had when I was stressed as a child, so my mind thinks it’s not available. You’ve shown me (many times now) that it is; to trust that things will be all right; that there is a caring force in the Universe that I can contact; that I am not alone—above all, that I am not alone; that I am worthy of attention; deserving of it; that I can ask to have my needs for attention and caring met . . . [tears]

Indeed, Mr. Neall. This is the Great Surrender for trauma survivors like you, whose mind tricks them into believing there is “nothing good” out there. You have once again proven that to be untrue. Congratulations. . . . Vaya con Dios, Mr. Neall with his changed mind. May it stay changed for always and ever.

November 17, 2010: Timmy Ho’s, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC.

I wish to speak to my Higher Self, for its support and nurturance and guidance and love tonight.

We are here, Mr. Neall, “with you” and “for you.”

What’s the most important thing I need to know about health / healing / recovery? I seem to be on the verge of something important—a more energetic, assertive life.

Yes. Your Inner Navigator is functioning better, the result of your devotion to wellness through your disciplines and nutrition. Don’t stop, Mr. Neall. Look only forward; you know what’s in your past. We en-courage growth, for those who want to learn. You have become a student and are receptive—that’s what it takes. Now find some like-minded companions for the “joy of the journey”—while accepting your need for solitude at this stage of your life. Your practices are bearing fruit—as you know; especially your gratitude for those who have helped you the past twenty years, and those who continue to help uplift humanity. Again we say: Don’t quit seeking to understand and grow—including in patience when you find you’ve become unbalanced, or are moving too quickly to stay grounded. . . . We will help you all we can. We ARE you, after all, and there’s nothing we would rather experience than you being happy (which includes being empowered and healthy and focused). As we’ve said: When you are happy, we are happier—glad that our teaching is taking hold. It’s “what we do.” Yes, it’s a good job. Try to find one like it for yourself. We indeed become happier as you grow and learn. . . . This is the “language of happiness” you have asked to learn in your little poem—

Land of Hope—
Teach me, immigrant upon your shores,
The language of happiness.

It’s happening: red-orange-yellow-pink aura. Let it in, dear brother Neall, student of reconciliation and forgiveness. We are always with you. You are never alone. . . . Think on these things on your walk home.

Thank you. I am grateful for your participation in my health / healing / recovery.

November 20, 2010: Timmy Ho’s, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self, from the Tim Hortons School of the Enjoyment of Life, Courtenay branch.

We are here, Mr. Neall. Glad you are feeling a bit chipper tonight. The writing will benefit many people, as it does you. As you know, we are always here to help—with any situation.

What is the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery tonight? I’m not looking forward to a long, dark winter—though I’m certainly not as depressed as I’ve been in winters past [first snowfall of the season today]. . . . What does God wish me to know? What can I do to grow our relationship in Love and Light, in more happiness?

This writing is a good start. With your current level of fatigue, your self-care disciplines are important. We’re talking holidays here—or holy days: days devoted to freedom from fear and worry, to deep relaxation, joy and laughter, connection with your heart.

Thank you. I know it’s time to stop trying so hard to make a good impression in my new town. Perhaps I’ve gone into “overwork mode.” I’m still learning about living in peace, to trust that the right things will happen if I become more patient—and let you guide me, as you did in bringing me the amazing mandala photographs.

You’re welcome, Mr. Neall. We are interested in your happiness, and, again, we are “biased in favour of love.” All you need do is let it in.

Making my life story into a love story would be a miracle almost beyond comprehension. There was an important step last week, though, when at the end of my 45-minute meditation, a ball of “energy of forgiveness” came to me that involved my brothers. I was glad to experience that—it’s time to clear up those relationships. This is what I’m “in school” for. Please keep teaching me—at a pace I can handle. Part of my happiness plan.

You’ve got it. Glad to help. . . . Enjoy your walk home in the crisp air, Neall. . . . Vaya con Dios, always, with our blessings.

November 23, 2010: A & W Restaurant, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Neall.

What is it that God, my teacher of happiness, would have me know today? I am miserable and feel unwell. My home life has gotten stressed; I’m thinking there is no one to whom I can turn.

Patience, dear Neall. Again, we are doing our best to reach you; to get through the mental condition that is affecting you today; to get through to your heart; to bring more effortlessness into your life and less struggle; to get you connected to something; to bring back hope and Light. Please listen—we have a larger point of view than you. Thank you for taking this time, for knowing to ask for help. It’s all we do, so we are practised at it. We have a lot of patience and we have a lot information and energy, all of which can benefit you today . . . if you can learn to trust us—to trust in another way of life: a happier way of life; that there is something, the knowing of which could change your life forever: a belief that you have the personal power to get out of social situations that have become unworkable; that there is a path for you—that you know where you are going from here, when you leave this restaurant, tomorrow, next week, et cetera; that there is no judgment on your life, just as there was no judgment on John Lennon’s life [I watched the PBS American Masters documentary called “Lennon NYC” on TV last night]. No judgment, Neall. NO JUDGMENT. . . . When you let this sink in, you will truly change. No judgment from moment of conception to life’s end. Clean, clear mind, active and ready to engage with the tasks of living, as you envision them . . . Forgiven . . . Forgiving . . . Hopeful . . . Smiling . . . Trusting . . . Innocent . . . Curious . . . Resourceful . . . Creative . . . Solitary . . . Seeking . . . Still . . . Happy . . . Relaxed Mind. . . . These are the possibilities. We offer all of them through this discipline—a word you are getting to know well. . . . Don’t give up, Neall—that’s something we’ve said many times and that we’ll say as often as seems helpful. . . . We (you and us) are a partnership—a partnership in healing. We will never let you down—ever. We are with you eternally—no disappointments here (we know you’ve suffered your share of these).

Going back a long way.


How can I move forward, then, practically speaking?

As you know, first relax your mind. Become peaceful. Then the way opens.

Relaxing my mind in my current living situation is not proving easy. I’m asking for help.

We are with you for as long as you need us, Neall. This conversation can go on forever. Please believe that. You will not be abandoned—one of your greatest fears. . . . You will not be abandoned and left alone yet again. That’s in the past—in your “museum of memories.” . . . We offer “something else” than your history: the possibility of changing your mind; of rewriting the script; of making your life story a love story . . . by taking us with you wherever you go.

I’d like that. And no baggage, right?

No baggage; just Love and Light—and wisdom, nurture and support: a way out of the quagmire of chronic fatigue and learned helplessness. A glimmer (today) of happiness and hope, of relief from mental torture; a touch of heart. . . . We’re ready if you are.

Okay, I’m ready to try something new today. I don’t like what I’ve got. I’m just stuck.

We are doing everything in our power to reach you, Neall. We are everywhere, and everywhere available, even amongst the smell of hamburgers at the A & W, “knock, knock, knocking on heaven’s door.”

I seem to be stuck in its opposite these days (and wanting a hamburger) . . . [I order a Spicy Mama Burger and eat it, then begin my 1.5-km walk home, but I have so much energy, I run most of the way.]

November 25, 2010: My home, Sandpiper Drive, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Neall, always available.

Thank you for all your guidance, over five years now. . . . What is it that would bring peace and happiness to my mind / heart / body / soul today?

Feel the love, Neall [tears], that we have for you, and all humans; the love that you are learning through your new, brighter aura; that you have for your friend to whom you sent the poem today [see “If My Hands . . .” among Five Spiritual Poems at <>]. Feel the increased energy; the more positive outlook; the ability to smile more often; the new awareness that solitude and silence for writing and photography are what make you happy. . . . You, Neall Calvert, have discovered what makes you happy! Thank about that for a while—because that word was foreign to you for a long time. . . . Progress: big word for you. Progress: Give thanks for it: every bit of it. Give thanks for the writer of the book you’ve just read, that’s given you new, powerful ideas on healing, by connecting with your Inner Feminine: the way out of wounded male emotional exhaustion [The Woman with the Alabaster Jar: Mary Magdalene and the Holy Grail, by Margaret Starbird (Bear & Co., 1993)]. [From the book, page 158:]

One of the saddest realities in our culture is that the ascendancy of the wounded masculine has led to emotional exhaustion [as in the legend of the Fisher King / Grail King: the wounded king cannot heal, and the land does not produce]. Where the feminine is not valued, a man has no real intimacy with his counterpart, his “other half.” . . . Deprived of his equal opposite because the feminine is viewed as an inferior object, the frustrated ascendant male causes burnout: . . . The wasteland ensues.” [The Holy Grail that has been the object of much seeking, for centuries, turns out to be not the actual cup that Jesus used at the Last Supper, but the principle of the receptive vessel, the Inner Feminine.]

Be grateful for everything: a quiet place to walk each morning; restaurants and shops you can walk to if your car isn’t working; pleasant scenery out your window with ducks and geese and white trumpeter swans in the bay; abundant hot water for showers; in-home laundry; the awesome Internet as communications tool (at no extra cost to you); a stream and forest trails nearby; et cetera . . .

Thank you. Once again, I had forgotten to be grateful as a way out of the “complaining attitude.” It works. . . . What is the most important thing to know about my health / healing / recovery today? This increased energy requires some focus—somewhere to channel it. I somehow thought I was going to be sedentary as well as solitary for this year.

Oh, dear Neall, no. Your sedentary years are over. You’re opening to a new level of living that will be unlike anything you’ve known. Get ready for the ride of your life. No more (ponderous) pondering every little move. That’s not you any more. You’re being “washed clean.” You’ve asked for it (through years of daily prayers and all kinds of spiritual seeking) and now it’s coming about: Neall: happy person: empowered, talented, creative, heartful, energized, compassionate, nonjudgmental, and much more. . . . The spiritual path is definitely about learning to become still, but it is also about coming alive (as you’re having glimpses of these days.) . . .

. . . We’ll say it again, Neall: don’t stop. Ask for help (as you are doing here) when you need it. We’ll be with you. We don’t quit, ever. . . . Blessings. Vaya con Dios. Your Higher Self.

November 29, 2010: A & W Restaurant, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here for you, Mr. Neall.

Thank you. What’s the most important thing to know about my health / healing / recovery program today? What would God wish me to know?

Be at peace, Neall. Take the time, as you are doing, through meditation and prayer, to be at peace. Then you will make good decisions about everything, including automobiles, your home, and your future—an empowered future unlike your past. You will make the connections you need to make, that will increase your happiness and joy levels, and you will see how to make more money. You will have the powerful nutritional supplements to nourish you mentally and physically, and you will be standing taller and straighter than ever before. . . . Get another massage as soon as you are able from your guy D. S., as it agrees with you, which (as you know) barely requires mentioning, given the very positive “big dream” you had following the last one [three days ago].

Thank you for your support and encouragement with my health and career and material life. I am willing to learn Love and Light and happiness in such an environment.

That’s all we do, so we are “focused on the task,” and very willing to engage in it. As we’re used to saying, “Don’t quit.” Find a way to become peaceful and make good decisions—you are worth it. We’ll help you fill up, recharge, renew your hopes and dreams—live the Good Life. You deserve it. . . . Keep us tuned in, in whatever way works for you. You know your disciplines create results—as did your 45-minute meditation this morning. . . . Have a sweet evening, Neall. . . . Vaya con Dios, your Higher Self. . . . Peace, Shalom, blessings for the Good Life.

December 2, 2010: McDonald’s Restaurant, Walmart, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self. I wish to connect to say hello, to express my gratitude for all the help you give me. Thank you for continuing to guide me into the Good Life. That’s “what I want.”

We are here, Mr. Neall—part of your Good Life . . . always available with the larger perspective, to help enlighten, recharge, encourage, uplift, entertain—whatever it takes for you today. Feel the Love and Light. Let it grow in you: freedom from fear and worry. What a relief—a peaceful mind; an aware mind; a smile on your face—thus a changed mind. . . . That’s what we’re available for; will always be available for. . . . Vaya con Dios, friend, beloved of God.

December 5, 2010: Timmy Ho’s, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self. . . . I feel far away from you tonight.

We are always available, Mr. Neall, to connect from the heart / with your heart.

Thank you. What is the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery tonight? What is it that God wishes me to know?

As you are understanding better from the Wayne Dyer book you’ve been reading [The Invisible Force: 365 Ways to Apply the Power of Intention to Your Life, Hay House:, 2007), there is a “big picture” available—the eternal picture. You are glimpsing this, getting educated about the high-energy life, reinforcing what you already know, opening to new ways of perceiving. Don’t stop learning, Neall. Life is for learning; learning is life. . . . Learn about the heart, Neall—the rewards are great: freedom from fear and worry, courage, connection, doing what you love, energy, smiles, no more karma. “Lead with your heart,” as it is said—a great life strategy. . . . Also, we say enjoy your new aura (red-orange-yellow-pink). Let it soak into every part of you: “colours of the rising sun.” Be that. Let everything you do be that: then watch your life change; be uplifted.

Thank you. . . . Once again, my home has become a source of too much stress. I could use some help and support to sort this out as I prepare for my next place, one with more privacy, solitude and silence, a more like-minded environment.

We are with you in anything that makes you happy(er), Mr. Neall. And we do mean anything. It requires no effort on our part; it is what we do—our job. You’ve “forgotten” again about this kind of effortlessness and our natural state of empowerment, not to mention bliss. . . . Keep on relaxing, meditating, becoming still, you will see this too: a life like you haven’t known yet—effective, empowered, peaceful, happy, relaxed, productive. “Stay with the program” and create these kinds of results. Empowerment is a wonderful feeling—release of chronic tension in your stomach; the ability to go “where you want, when you want” more often. When you turn this corner, you will be happier. . . . Remember, never be afraid to grieve your disempowered feelings—it’s the key to change; to more happiness. We give this gift to you with all our intention, as your guide and mentor and compañionero; as someone who cares about you. You could use a friend today, Mr. Neall. We are glad to fill that role—and not only today, eternally. . . . Enjoy your walk home. . . . We are always with you. . . . Vaya con Dios, your Higher Self.

December 7, 2010: McDonald’s Restaurant, Walmart, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self. I wish to be happier today.

We are with you, Neall, wherever you are and however you are. Even in your current state of stress, you had a productive meditation this morning: Now there’s a little less fear of abandonment, a little more empowerment—congratulations. That’s the benefit of discipline; of the willingness to just sit, for 45 minutes. Remember to ask to be filled with Love and Light afterward. This is how your life changes.

Thank you. I’m wanting a lot of support (read love) to get through these next few months in my home, till I get my next one, where I’ll have more solitude and quiet and privacy.

Remember, your disciplines will bring you the stillness you are seeking, and that we will never abandon you—never, ever. It’s not within us to act in that way. Keep learning, Neall, that there exists a different kind of world than the one that has existed in your mind for so long. We are here to help bring it to you, and we will do our best to deliver. Remember, when you are happy, we are happier, so we have a stake in the outcome. So, let go and let God, Neall. A better life is coming, one day at a time, called “The Return of the Sun” (the myth being lived through you; the “Big Story” of your life). . . . We’ll be there for that, too. Wouldn’t want to miss it. . . . Vaya con Dios, Neallerino. You are loved, no matter what you are going through. . . . Blessings, your Higher Self.

December 11, 2010: My home, Sandpiper Drive, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here.

Thank you for all your wisdom and guidance. I want some more of it today, to address the unhappiness around my home.

We are glad to help, Neall, and are always available.

What is the most important thing to know today about my health / healing / recovery? What would God wish me to know, about feeling stronger, healthier and happier today?

We say, go for the heart. Let your heart lead you—your self-affinity, self-approvement and self-acceptance. . . . Think friendship; being your own best friend. What would you tell yourself? Counsel yourself? . . . Yes, that you are always doing the best you know how to live the Good Life, the liberated life, the life of “standing on your own two feet” (as you pray each day for); to love; to be at peace; to do more of what you enjoy. . . So, no blame, no blame. Just reality, growth, your own healing and recovery—one day at a time. And patience, perseverance, persistence and great self-acceptance when things aren’t working out. No Blame. Let yourself off the hook. We are not judging you. There are unlimited possibilities in the world for better living conditions. . . . “Keep that in mind,” as they say. No one is judging you or your unique lifestyle needs, for your creativity and healing researches, your life “in school.” We celebrate this life with you, always and ever, and will never let you down. You are doing the right thing by contacting us when you are uncertain or unhappy, instead of suffering. We’d say you have learned something, n’est-ce pas?—to reach out in times of trouble. Acknowledge yourself . . . and again. . . . Keep doing it. Say, “I acknowledge myself for knowing to ask for help, for wanting something better, for taking action in the here and now.” Affirm: “I am empowered and well-equipped for life” . . . over and over. . . .

. . . Our mercy never ends, Neall. Let it in, this early Saturday morning [4 a.m.]. Let yourself feel empowered to take the next step in the adventure of healing on which you are embarked: “Life as a journey.” Quite a trip. . . . Keep us in mind, because we love to travel too, and we are the kind of big-minded companions you like to be with. . . . Keep contemplating what works for you, what makes you happy—we’ll support it, as will your guides and guardian angels, including your cousins Pete and Anne, who send their love to you in this moment. . . .

. . . Love and Light, Neall. It’s always available—including in Australia where you’re headed. It’s everywhere. And it’s these kinds of disciplines that bring it closer: the willingness to take time (to develop your faith). It’s “money in the bank.” . . . Enjoy your breakfast and your day. You are not alone—ever. . . . Vaya con Dios, Mr. Neall, man of discipline, disciple in the Faith.

December 13, 2010: McDonald’s Restaurant, Walmart, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

Go ahead, Neall. We are here.

What would God want me to know today? What’s the most important thing to know about my health / healing / recovery today? Can I actually get well?

You can if you say you can—that’s the long and short of it. We are with you in whatever choices you make. More love is always available, as with the email you received today from your friend B. You already know that change is possible (and thus healing), as you have experienced with your new aura colours (and the book you received to review [from someone who found this writing on the Internet] with these colours on its cover; and B. remarking on how often red-orange-pink appears in your photos). . . . In other words, change is happening: more warmth, more life, more heart, more happiness, more energy, more of everything that makes life worth living. . . . You are getting glimpses of this life: writer, artist, healer; glimpses of a path—that you have sought and worked for, for eons. It is coming about through your disciplines; through your willingness to surrender to your heart, to being “nudged” and taught and mentored by Spirit, to being a friend; to seeking what makes up the Good Life. Make no mistake: IT IS HAPPENING. Empowerment is the key. Your tears on your walk this morning were another step. . . .

. . . We are with you in your longing, Neall. Don’t doubt this. You are learning to keep us in mind more often. That’s very good progress. You are learning that you are alive in the night as well as in the day. Sleep is no longer the “little death” it once was; just a recharging of batteries for the day ahead. You are learning to trust in the creative life (and now you have affirmation from your friend B., who gladly read 100 pages of this writing on the Web, and enjoyed your photo website, and was nourished by it). . . . Progress, Neall—celebrate it . . . and get yourself a holiday. Your massage will be great on Wednesday. Keep up your walking, your nutrition, your writing (this material), your stretching (fitness tube and yoga) and meditation. Notice how much time you have in a day now; how chores “just get done”; how much easier it is to forgive yourself and to change unhappy mental perspectives, because you know you’ve done it before. . . .

. . . For all of this we are with you; and we will continue to be with you for the next level of it, and the next, and on and on and on: love without end. Red-orange-yellow-pink, endlessly growing: our promise: God’s promise that never fails. A promise to you, Neall, for a relationship bigger than any problem you have, or can concoct in your imaginative mind. A relationship, Neall: relatedness: the Eros principle of connectedness that you’ve been studying. The Inner Feminine that you dreamed of last night. . . . You, Neall, in relationship with something greater than yourself. . . . Keep going, Neall, and keep growing. Stay in school; we’ll keep teaching. That’s how to become happier. . . . Empowerment is coming, Neall. The tyranny in your mind is over. “Dem-o-cra-cy is coming . . . to the U—S—A—” in the words of Leonard Cohen [“Live in London” concert]. . . . Don’t ever quit, Neall. . . . Vaya con Dios, amigos.

December 16, 2010: McDonald’s Restaurant, Walmart, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall.

What’s the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery today? What would God want me to know?

Know that we are with you, Neall, that you are never alone. That the more you think about us, the easier your life gets, for we want nothing but the best for you; nothing but happiness including a good Christmas. Just as your friends send you Christmas greetings, so do we. As you traverse the darkest part of the year, keep affirming the light. Keep meditating, seeking peace in your mind and heart. Keep affirming a peaceful home. Be like the ducks and geese and swans that gather outside your window in the bay; that live free from free and worry. . . . Be ready to accept all gifts coming your way—as you are learning to give your talents in healing, writing and image-creation.

Thank you. The opening of a new path—new hope for happiness after decades of seeking—is a welcome development. It is definitely a life unlike anything I’ve known. Thank you for continuing to guide me.

No problemo, Mr. Neall. Just as you know the happiness of being with friends like J. B., M.B., B.W., because they “get you” effortlessly, so we offer the same kind of “ease of communication.” You don’t have to “explain” things to us: we understand, at many levels, the words that come out of your mouth, or out of your pen. Communication is natural to us—always has been, always will be. And the more you can think in eternal terms, the happier and more worry-free you will be. Keep raising your sights, Neall. You will like the Larger Life: less suffering, less struggle; more of everything Good. . . . Get ready, because it’s happening: expansion. Keep surrendering to relatedness—it’s the way forwards, as you’re glimpsing. And we’ll be with you every step of the way. How’s that for the Good Life?—friends at hand; empowerment; freedom from fear or worry. Quite a combination, wouldn’t you say?

It’s heaven.

Indeed. That’s where we’re taking you via this school you’re in. All you need to do is remain enrolled, by keeping up your disciplines. Worth the price, wouldn’t you agree?

Yes, yes and yes. You’ve convinced me to remain a student forever. And to want to encourage others to take up this study as well.

Yes. When one becomes filled up, they naturally want to “spill over.”

I will become a fountain.

And why not? A good career choice, wouldn’t you agree, Mr. Water Lover?

[insert Water Man image here]

I do. . . . I seem to be lightening up here. This is fun.

And why not? It’s been awhile, hasn’t it, since you relaxed and had fun?

It’s like a foreign language a lot of the time.

Well, Lightworker: Time to lighten up. This is a safe environment in which to do so. No one is judging you, no one will intimidate or bully you, there are no mistakes, and we will eternally be with you. Your internal tyrant is fading, and “Dem-o-cra-cy is coming . . . to the U—S—A—.” . . . Yes, we can sing, too; our talents are limitless. This is a fringe benefit of your having developed this communication. . . . Do you see how this works now? You get whatever you need in the moment. It’s the “human being filling station” concept. You’ve spent a lot of time filling up your cars; now spend some time filling up your Self—because you’re worth it. . . . And you get to receive it because of your discipline, and your intention to change, and thus to heal. . . . Have a good day, Mr. Neall. And we mean it sincerely. We want nothing else for you. . . Love and Light. . . . Vaya con Dios, your Higher Self.

December 19, 2010: Quality Foods Cafeteria, Driftwood Mall, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Neall—always with you.

Thank you. With everything I know about myself, all my awareness, I would say it’s time for a holiday, to get away. Thank you for supporting and encouraging my beliefs that it is possible—car fixed, money available, good ideas of where to go and what to do.

There’s no question that we are with you in this, Neall. “Ask for what you want,” and get yourself ready to receive. Build your deservingness and worthiness, as you are doing every day; your happiness, your creativity, your path into Love and Light. As you are learning, it’s what human life is about—getting enlightened. Keep going for the Big Picture, Neall, as we mentioned in your last writing session: friendships / love, empowerment, freedom from fear and worry. It includes health and financial well-being and holidays; lightness and ease; laughter—the whole happy package . . . and we are giving it away (wrapped for Christmas).

I accept. I claim all Good that’s meant for me. Not the least of which, I want a good Christmas, even though I am solitary this year. Can God be my Christmas gift? I hadn’t thought of that.

We are always available, dear Neall, for giving. If you are receptive, then things will happen. (We don’t take time off at Christmas.) Every day is a holiday / holy day for us . . . every moment.

It’s good to talk to someone who is not ill or tired, or too busy, or rushing off somewhere, who has time to communicate about important things, like happiness and purpose and path.

It’s our job, Neall, as we’ve said before; and we love what we do. You have a saying on your other writing website, in your “Quick Wisdom” section:

When you’re doing what you love,
No matter where you are,
You’re in heaven.

[web address here]

It’s like that for us. But you wrote that, and years ago. And you know it from your writing and photo work. So you’re on the right track. . . . Remember to meditate today. Peace is available. . . .Vaya con Dios, your Higher Self, your friend.

December 22, 2010: McDonald’s Restaurant, Walmart, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Neall.

What’s the most important thing I need to know about health / healing / recovery today? What would God want me to know? I feel some humour or joy bubbling below the surface. How could I bring that more to the forefront?

You enjoyed your photo-taking during the snowstorm on Monday [see below] . . . and your gifts and decorations received in the mail yesterday . . . and your meeting with your mentor and friend, J. B., yesterday—some lightness and ease; some freedom from worry and catastrophizing . . . part of the Big Picture. Don’t stop your disciplines, Neall, such as walking in the morning fresh air, and this writing, and meditation and stretching. They are paying dividends. . . . As things have gotten quite busy around you, we’ll “re-schedule.” . . . . Vaya con Dios, Mr. Neall. Your Higher Self.

December 24, 2010: My home, Sandpiper Drive, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, as always.

What would my friend / guide / mentor, God, want me to know today? My stress level has gone too high; I’m concerned for my health; am unable to relax or sleep. I understand about over-stimulation, and that’s what’s happening. . . . What can I do now? Is this all from my photography success [printing and framing five mandala images for an upcoming art show; already selling one]? I’ve become unbalanced, have lost my faith, and am looking for someone to blame, even though I know that’s not useful in the slightest.

The spiritual path is not always easy. People do get overwhelmed and unbalanced. And Christmas is the busiest time of the year. . . . Keep up your disciplines, Mr. Neall, as you “strive” to become free from fear and worry and to get into the holiday state of mind. Your energy boost from the new aura colours has gotten you to become over-involved, with not enough down-time to stay focused. As you understand from your contemplations of your past year’s events, “This is the year your life changed.” This was the year you got a big boost in understanding about wellness; the year that your disciplines and your seeking started to bear fruit. It’s a lot to manage.

Indeed it is. I’m asking for help to keep more balanced, to become happier rather than miserable with stress; to feel hopeful once again—and to get the furnace working in the rest of the house [I found out later it had turned itself off and needed to be reset}. And then there’s this problematic car situation [it doesn’t work, and no one has appeared who wants to buy it yet], which I interpret in metaphysical terms as representing something “lacking” in my energy system.

You can see that looking at life from a “problem” point of view isn’t effective. As you have experienced, becoming relaxed and “turning over” these matters to Universal consciousness via affirmative prayer is the way forward. Everything is “in process” all the time. You’re just learning to have more faith in that, given that you’re producing results elsewhere in your life. . . . There is only one way through the “negativity” of your life, or any life, and that is through your health disciplines and spiritual practices, your therapies and emotional releasing, and a support network of like-minded people, and, in your case, also lots of solitude and silence. Slowly, slowly, life changes as the old painful emotions are replaced with positive ones. . . . We are with you in this. Make no mistake about it. We are part of you and not separate; so when you are happy, we are happier—as we’ve stated a few times already. . . .

. . . You have support from us, Mr. Neall, from the part of you that sees / knows the Big Picture; that is patient and compassionate; that is ready to laugh at any moment—to laugh with you; that encompasses forgiveness and unconditional love: no judgment to add to the misery you’re already in. . . . You’ve hit a level of stress you’re not used to. Be gentle, patient, loving with yourself as you move to the next level of awareness / mastery, of joy in life, of strength, and the leaving of childhood behind. We’ll be with you in your new maturity. Just ask for us: do this practice. Keep asking / affirming / declaring / praying: becoming master of your reality. Rest when you need to; take holidays / create holidays often—we’re with you in this, as you know from experience. Trust this experience; the times we have gotten through to you with insights, such as “Don’t you know that I love you, and that this love can be renewed in every moment”; or the lines you put into your poem “Lillooet Lake Lodge” [“This morning as I drove from the city / an inner voice compelled me to halt, / astonished me: Why do you worry so much? it asked—I am guiding you . . .] . . . We (you and us) are Lightworkers—let the Light run things. It makes for an easier life; a happier life; a healthier life. . . .

. . . We are never far away, Mr. Neall. Call on us often. Meanwhile, Merry Christmas, Jingle Bells and Deck the Halls, not to mention Hark the Herald Angels Sing. Merriment is part of the package of life. You are safe with us to practise a little of it; just as much as you can handle. . . . Vaya con Dios, brother Neall—“close as your pen.”

December 27, 2010: McDonald’s Restaurant, Walmart, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Neall.

What’s the most important thing to know about my health / healing / recovery today? What would God want me to know?

As you’ve seen from rereading recent entries just now, we offer a complete package, called the Good Life, available at any time, which includes relatedness, learning, upliftment, encouragement and humour.

Indeed, I am “getting it all.” Good to know you—especially the humour part and the Jingle Bells and related Christmas merriment. I’m through the darkest part of the year more easily, distracted and uplifted by such things.

It’s all Love and Light, Neall—our specialty. And it’s here today too. Just let it in—“let go and let God.” We’ll do a lot of the work for you, if you’ll let us. You know that making us a priority makes everything work better, more effortlessly. And we definitely won’t abandon you or be jealous of you in your success. Au contraire: We’ll celebrate with you; be happy with you as you achieve your goals. . . . You’ve got a support system here, the likes of which you haven’t known.

It’s a new kind of life. I am doing my best to understand, to grasp this kind of life. I know I want something better than what I’ve got.

Again, Neall, we are with you—in all of it. Don’t stop growing, ever. . . . Vaya con Dios, your Higher Self.

December 29, 2010: My home, Sandpiper Drive, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are near, Neall—never far away.

I’ve sunk into despair and hopelessness again. I’m simply too alone; no man knows me; knows what it will take to bring me further out into the world. The stress in my lower back and abdomen are increasing. I barely know what I need myself. My inquiries into the yoga community I once belonged to give me the sense that I have a deep need for family—a need I have not allowed myself to admit to or to feel. The moments of red-orange-yellow-pink synchronicity around receiving the book on Jesus to review [Walking Through Illusion: Jesus Speaks of the People Who Shared His Journey by Betsy Otter Thompson] have faded. It seemed a path was developing there, one that I could feel myself meaningfully moving forward in. The author turns out to be a friend of my friend M. B. in Vancouver. Now I seem to have lost that string to follow. And tonight I’ve had an ominous dream that said: “He needs to have a good summer,” referring to me. Without a better social life, and especially better relations with males, there seems little hope of that. How can I turn yet another level of “stinking thinking” around? I need your wisdom, your Love and Light, and compassion.

Dear Neall,
You have done the right thing in asking for hep from your Higher Self. Congratulations on taking “one step in your own enlightened self-interest” (as you wish to teach), rather than suffering any longer. We can help you to feel more hopeful, and thus happier, tonight. . . . Your renewed yoga studies, listening to the web-based talks on your computer [] have brought up your old patterns again—especially isolation and unworthiness—that keep you stuck in misery, seemingly unable to progress. This is a psychological condition that can be addressed on several fronts: addiction recovery studies / actions, and a yoga spiritual community that gives you a physical / mental / emotional / spiritual approach to living. You know that the meditation and yoga you already practise help your situation, as do fresh-air walking and a peaceful home and “time off”—anything and everything that provides a positive outlook, relatively free of stress; and connection with us. So you have many tools in place. You have made progress to have gotten this far. Ask yourself: How did I do that? The answer is, through perseverance, curiosity and courage. You were “following your heart,” weren’t you?

Yes, I guess I was.

You knew something better was available. You’d read about it, or observed others living more happily. . . . Now it’s time to demonstrate even more courage—the courage to bring men into your life on a more regular basis. Yes, given your experiences growing up this “strikes terror into your heart.” Yet, this is how people grow . . . they simply refuse to be terrorized any longer; or terrified. . . . You had the good connection with the three(!) different men at your visit to the Unitarian centre for the solstice ceremony, which created anxiety for you in the days following. Then you met one of the men in the local library. You got scared and kept moving rather than stand and talk and feel your discomfort and your fears. . . . Your growth will be served by attending the next meeting of the Unitarian fellowship [on January 2, 2011] and simply standing in your fears. What a victory that will be for your soul! . . . It’s a church, after all; it’s meant as place for people to grow—and what is growth / transformation if not the shedding of fears (and the crying of tears). . . . You are on the cusp of something new, Neall. Why not take this opportunity for something better? You know from your intuitions about things that this time in the home you are in is about transformation for you. . . . Let it happen, we say. Change the habits of lifetimes. You know the alternative—an isolated “half-life” of declining health. Which will you choose? . . . Remember, we are here to en-courage you. You also have your (healthy again) mentor and friend, J. B., on your side—someone who hears and understands you, n’est-ce pas?

Yes, he is a blessing.

Indeed. You are fortunate to have met him. . . . Keep going and growing, Neall. We are always with you, including in this step of your transformation: every moment, every breath. . . . Pray ceaselessly—it works. . . . Does that give you a little more hope?

Yes, it does. “Someone” has seen my biggest fears, my neurosis, my “dysfunctionality.”

Yes. Remember the words of the beautiful poem that you have almost forgotten about but that you bought the rights to, many years ago—especially the last two lines:

© Copyright by Richard Lemm

When we awake
There will be sunshine on the snow
Our melting bodies will unwind
The clock, remember fireworks
And swim where life-
Guards warn us not to be.

Under ice so long
We will be dazzled by the light
Rescue friends from crevasses
Take sides with wildflowers, wolves
And gather fossils of
Ourselves for kindling.

When we awake
There will be dewdrops on the leaves
Our nesting bodies will unlock the sky
Image wings
And sail past
The scarecrows in the garden.

(Right to reproduce held by NC; obtained from Intermedia Press [Ed Varney].)

Your attention was caught by these words for a reason: this is how you want to live. . . . And we want it for you too, and will do everything in our power to help bring it about . . . that’s our great job, and it’s a good one—right, Mr. Neall?

Yes, it is a good job. I’m getting one just like it. Thank you.

You are very welcome, beloved of God, and someone deserving of attention and healing in this season of both darkness and light. . . . Vaya con Dios, friend.

January 1, 2011: McDonald’s Restaurant, Walmart, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Neall.

What’s the most important thing to know about my health / healing / recovery today? What would God want me to know? I’m tired and don’t feel like celebrating the New Year.

We are with you, Neall, in everything: In the dawning of your letting new people into your life full-time—people who care about you; in the end of isolation and misery; into the light of the sun. We help with all of this; with your list of “Good Things that Happened to me in 2010” that you made last night. We were with you then, and we’ll be with you in 2011, with Love and Light once again. . . . Keep up your disciplines, Neall; keep declaring what you want to be so; what you know to be true: that you are worthy of Love, of the Good Life, of the connected life, of your dreams coming true—high among them having feelings of empowerment and belonging. This is the foundation of the Good Life.

That sounds about right. . . . Right now, being with people seems a problem, and so does being alone. Despite my intense grieving session after reaching the end of Bill Bryson’s magnificent book A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail two days ago, I feel disgruntled. . . . Perhaps I need time to “readjust.” . . .

A holiday would be good. As would an injection of self-acceptance / self-affinity / self-approvement—“heart” in short. That includes courage and compassion. . . . Imagine living from your heart. . . . What would that look like? Feel like? . . .

A lot different. How can I spend more time there? How could I cheer up today? Claim my divine self? My “Ernest Holmes self”? [founder of Science of Mind, who I dreamed of a week ago [see Religious Science website] How can I change my mind this morning? I’d like to feel better.

You’ve gotten around to stating what you want, Neall. That’s where things can start to change. . . . You’re overstimulated and can use some rest. Try spending the day reading and listening to music; going to a movie; going over your gratitude list. Your grieving session has left you vulnerable; honour that and spend time recharging, meditating, being gentle with yourself—till you can get a smile on your face again.

That seems impossible at the moment.

We’ve orchestrated bigger miracles. . . . How about the sun and the moon and the stars? The earth in its “perfect” suitability for human habitation? The flight of birds? The love in many humans’ hearts in friendship? The beauty of sunrises and sunsets? The whispering of the breeze in a park at evening? The hot summer days in the countryside that you love? . . . How about music—Bach’s “Fourth Brandenburg Concerto” on period instruments, “Hallelujah” chorus from Handel’s “Messiah,” Mozart’s “Clarinet Concerto” or “Eine Kleine Nachtmusik,” Massenet’s “Meditation from Thaïs”*, new age performer Shastro’s “Whirling Flames” from his Mystic Trance CD, the harmonies of the Hawaiian Cazimero Brothers, the pure voice of Elvis Presley in 1956, The Beatles’ “Penny Lane” with its fun-filled E-flat soprano cornet solo? The Welsh singer Bryn Terfel’s “Simple Gifts” CD? . . .

[*my favourite versions are a performance by Janine Jansen at and as accompaniment to the young Russian ice-skating couple Gordeeva and Grinkov in 1990 at]

. . . There is much beauty in this world, Neall, in many forms. Avail yourself of some of it today. Be nourished. Be renewed / recharged—what you asked for, right?

Indeed. You have come through for me again. I will rest and recharge until I feel better. Thank you.

You are welcome, and deserving, and worthy of this relationship. . . . Vaya con Dios, Mr. Neall. Happy New Year! Blessings for a peaceful and happy 2011. Claim all Good that’s meant for you and your friends and your associates. Just let it in (we will help). . . . Remember, we are always available, as we were this morning. . . . And we love you. And we love our job, and are glad to pass it on to anyone and everyone who wants it. “Helping to uplift humanity”—what would be better than that? . . . Carry on, compañionero, in strength and wellness and peace. . . . Again, Vaya con Dios. We are with you. Your Higher Self.

January 3, 2011: McDonald’s Restaurant, Walmart, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Neall.

What’s the most important thing to know about my health / healing / recovery today? What would God want me to know? Finding a balance of busyness and solitude is elusive these days. How could I manage things better?

Hello, Mr. Neall. We are with you, with compassion and caring and helpful concern; and no end of love—like the personalities in the Louise L. Hay DVD you watched last night, “You Can Heal Your Life.” [] Study that, Neall. Study how to change your life among “experts” like these—dedicated practitioners helping to uplift humanity; pioneers of the new vibration of self-responsibility for one’s health. . . . You know what to do, Neall: When you don’t know what to do or you feel tired, rest, recharge, renew yourself. We are always available for your recharging; we are you. Bring us into your life to become happy and peaceful and to find bliss and connectedness, endless creativity, compassion, courage, an end to fear and worry—about anything. That’s the power and the promise of spiritual / holistic living. . . . Don’t stop, Neall. Keep growing, being a student, finding your way. You’re “in good hands” with the Louise L. Hay DVD. . . . Again: You know what to do: First get yourself in a holiday mood. Then the day will take care of itself, free from fear or worry. . . . It’s a big universe, Neall, with lots of ideas to explore. Expansion is always possible—including in your abundance thinking, your levels of deservingness and worthiness, your sense of humour, your joy, lightness and ease, your connectedness, your courage and compassion.

Thank you. That’s what I need to hear today. I do want to have a good day—and a Good Life: a happy life, a peaceful life; a life that includes real, heartfelt laughter, enough money and lots of love. Please help me to grow in all these areas.

We never stop teaching, Neall—we never will. We are eternally available to seekers like yourself; available to uplift humanity; to help in times of need—as your writings have proven to you. . . . Keep writing, Neall, persevering on your journey. We’ll be with you, talking about Love and Light, healing, joy, abundance and all the other positive qualities you are learning about. . . . There is hope, Neall—we’re it. Your disciplines bring it nearer, bring it into being, and will always do so—we promise. And that’s the Truth for today, January 3, 2011. . . . Blessings, Neall. . . . Vaya con Dios, your Higher Self, voice of Love.

January 6, 2011: McDonald’s Restaurant, Walmart, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall.

What’s the most important thing to know about my health / healing / recovery today? What would God want me to know? My dreams have been intense for two days, and my faith has been tested around a large gift of money that I thought was lost in the mail.

Hello, Mr. Neall. You are getting reality in big doses as you uplevel your life. Welcome to the real world, where money and connection with others are the norm. Keep up your silence / solitude / meditation and spiritual practices that keep you balanced and responsive to reality, as you navigate in your new environment. Ask for help at any time.

Thank you. I like my new level of aliveness, though it is unfamiliar to trust people this much, to be known this deeply, especially by J. I am ready for a solitary holiday—in your presence, of course.

We support the Good Life in all its manifestations, Mr. Neall, and wish to be included in your happiness. (We insist on it .). Connecting with us helps lift you up—and up and up and up. No more de-press-ion; more expression; more lightness and ease; more laughter. . . . Keep studying, Neall; don’t stop. . . . We are always available to do our part; to help uplift humanity, of which you are becoming more and more a part. . . . Blessings on your creativity, Mr. Neall, so it flourishes, so your light shines, like Rumi’s, into the world. It’s what you are here to do—shine and shine and shine.

Thank you for helping to clarify my path. I am grateful for help with wisdom, and fortitude, patience, support, seeing the Big Picture. I appreciate our relationship. May it continue to grow and bear fruit.

You got it, Pontiac. “Seek and ye shall find; ask and it shall be given unto you.”

Thank you again.

Vaya con Dios, your Higher Self.

January 7, 2011: Quality Foods Cafeteria, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Neall.

What’s the most important thing to know about my health / healing / recovery today? What would God want me to know?

Hello, Mr. Neall. Greetings in Light and Love. We are glad to be with you again, to help bring hope and health and laughter; purpose and path; happiness and peace. . . . Keep going, Neall. What you are seeking is getting closer, as your dreams are telling you: you’re “half in the spiritual group and half out.” We are here to en-courage you today; to offer hope, ideas from the realm of unlimited creativity, freedom from fear and worry.

Thank you. I still haven’t gotten away for a holiday, so accept all assistance in that area, particularly.

Just rest, Neall. Listen to music. Watch “You Can Heal Your Life” again . . . and your hockey game for your entertainment. Stay out in the sunshine as much as possible. Meditate—“In the stillness, there I am.” There the healing forces are available—as you have experienced.

Yes, I love the stillness and peace of mind that come through meditation. I want these qualities to grow in me; also I want to grow in self-affinity, self-approvement and self-acceptance—and to put an end to self-criticism, self-judgment and beating myself up. I’m tired of all that.

Right on, Mr. Neall. We are with you in this, because we know you’ll be happier as a result, and have more energy. We are for whatever helps you to heal and become happier—unconditionally and eternally. . . . That last sentence succinctly sums up our job. And as bears repeating right now—it’s a good job.

I agree. It’s the kind of job I’m learning about—one that doesn’t tire me out; that energizes me. I want your help with that.

You’ve got it! No request goes unheard. . . . Keep planning your holiday / holy day today. Rest, recharge, renew, take it easy, take the day off—the world can take care of itself without you just fine. . . . In fact, it wants you feeling good / recharged / making your contribution. . . . And we are with you in all of this . . . and we never go away; we never quit. . . . So, as we’ve said before, we’re “good people to know.” . . . Stay in touch.

I will. I want to grow in Love and Light.

You’re in the right place. . . . Vaya con Dios, Neall, your Higher Self. Be blessed this day, and every day.

January 11, 2011: Taco Del Mar Restaurant, Anfield Centre, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall.

What’s the most important thing to know about my health / healing / recovery today? What would God want me to know about overcoming tiredness, and feeling good today?

We are glad you are calling on us today. We are ready to help fill you up with Love and Light, thus freedom from fear and worry. Keep asking to be filled; to be in connection with your Higher Self. As you realized this morning after your walk, this is the Good Life, and this is what you want: connectedness, love / friendship, non-judgment, warmth, red-orange-yellow-pink energy, peace of mind. We will help with all of this, until you are happy, and beyond.

That is what I want. I’m getting a taste of it, and I want more; more health, too, and creative ideas—and a vacation and a good car for getaways. I’m turning it all over to you, my Higher Self—including my upcoming art show. Thank you for continuing to guide me into happiness, into understanding that this relationship is my #1 priority.

We are glad to do that, Neall, until you understand the role of helpers and guides, and become one yourself. You are worth it. We will always be available—no end of help, 24 / 7, so keep choosing the Good Life, moment by moment. Keep choosing smiles, laughter, peace, creativity, friendship, et cetera.

Thank you.

Vaya con Dios, Mr. Neall, diligent student.

January 12, 2011: McDonald’s Restaurant, Walmart, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC
I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are with you, Neall, after your night of snow [eight inches; the power went out].

What’s the most important thing to know about my health / healing / recovery today? What would God want me to know? How can I get the rest I want and need?

Love, love, love, Neall. Keep thinking about your new aura colours; about harmony and peace and connectedness. Keep reaching for it; meditating, studying; “moving into new territory”; opening your heart; exercising; freeing yourself from worrying; imaging a future unlike your past; imagining being happy; imagining a sun-filled mind. It is possible.

Thank you for your upliftment today. I am grateful for this relationship.

Vaya con Dios, friend. “Keep the faith”—always.

January 14, 2011: McDonald’s Restaurant, Walmart, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Neall, eternally everywhere available.

What’s the most important thing to know today? What would God want me to know? I’m asking for more Light, after my nearly sleepless night; yet yesterday there were wonderful feelings of freedom from worry and fear—freedom from all symptoms.

Yes. That is how the Good Life comes at first—an hour here, half an hour there. . . . Continue your studies, Neall—reading Dr. Wayne Dyer [Excuses Begone!], meditating, walking, growling / catharting as on your walk today, to become energized and healthy, and out of the past. Keep reaching for the Light, for something better, for courage and compassion and connection, for empowerment, and sunshine in your soul. It is possible. . . . You are tired so we’ll sign off with blessings. . . . Vaya con Dios, Neall: Go with God.

January 16, 2011: Timmy Ho’s, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Mr. Neall.

What’s the most important thing to know today? What would God want me to know?

God would want you to know that you are loved and cared about and that the spiritual nourishment that you are seeking is available. Your disciplines and attention to spiritual growth through books and the Internet [] and DVDs is paying off, as you listen to positive-minded, happy people, most of whom have overcome great difficulties through perseverance, prayer, study, and courage. Don’t quit, Neall—“join the club.”

Yes. Again today I had a big positive moment, free from physical symptoms, free from fear and worry. So I can see that all the effort is paying dividends. . . . The very clear dream that I had a few nights ago—about spending three months in the Okanagan Valley—caught me by surprise. It looks like I won’t get settled here in Courtenay, unless I return after that trip. But dreams can be quite mysterious at times; they don’t always mean what they say (though some of them do). I do want a holiday, though, and getting a van and a travelling would be fun. The main thing is that I am willing to do whatever will make me feel good, feel fully alive, and purposeful; whatever will make me happier. I’m asking for help in all of this—and thank you for all the help and guidance you have given me until now. I am grateful for this relationship.

You are welcome, Neall. We are teachers of Love and Light, and you are a diligent student. Staying in touch with us pays dividends, as you’re learning. The path of wellness, one of our specialties, is a big subject worthy of study, as the pioneering figures in the “You Can Heal Your Life” movie have proven; they are your mentors—listen well. You can build your real life as they have done. That is the hope that is coming to you from watching the movie and the accompanying bonus interviews. . . . Keep going, Neall. Joy, love, peace, health and hope are available to everyone. Again—“join the club”: the club of new-age metaphysicians who know how to live in the great possibility that life presents.

I will be glad to join them; to feel useful in society; to feel myself unfolding on a meaningful path; to know that the divine within me provides a way for me to become healthy and happy and peaceful.

It does, and it will.

Thank you. I will sign off. The café has become busy with many conversations.

Vaya con Dios, Mr. Neall. We are always available. . . . And so it is.

January 22, 2011: Timmy Ho’s, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

What’s the most important thing to know about my health / healing / recovery today? What would God want me to know? . . . I’m feeling stuck between rest and solitude on the one hand, and making more social connections on the other. However, what I know from my experience is that a vacation is called for. When I am rested and inspired, I always know what to do next.

Hello, Mr. Neall. We are glad to be in communication again. You’ve been busy with your manifesting and so a vacation will soon be possible [I bought a 1996 Ford Aerostar van]. You are building your faith and trust, your ability to connect with us more often, and we are glad to help you with more peace of mind when things look tough, as they did with the repairs needed on your van. . . . This is how things change: understanding that we are available constantly, on issues large and small. This is exercising your “spiritual muscles”; building mastery of life. We are glad to help with this. Empowerment helps to build happiness, and you know we are voting for that, and we always will. . . . Keep going, Neall. Remember the basics: There is no judgment on your life; you are loved exactly as you are; God is Love and Light. . . . Vaya con Dios, friend. Be refreshed, be blessed. Be uplifted by Love and Light. . . . “No worries, mate.”

January 25, 2011: A & W Restaurant, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I’d like to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Neall.

What’s the most important thing to know about my health / healing / recovery today? What would God want me to know?

Dear Neall: Thank you for taking this time; we will help you all we can to find stillness, rest, healing, joy, laughter, peace of mind and purpose: “back on track.” We have delivered on these in the past and we can do so again, from the Great Ocean of unlimited possibilities. . . . Remember to be grateful for all that has come to you, large and small: “Recovery” product to help with joint health; money from J. for your van; the ducks / geese / trumpeter swans outside your window every morning; in-house laundry; advisor / mentor / counsellor at no charge to you; art show invitation welcoming your creativity in your new location; money / income issues with publisher resolved for this month, and a big step taken in your level of assertiveness; found a beautiful, quiet spot near home in nature for solitude on the high banks over Millard Creek in Millard Park; having shops and restaurants within walking distance; a renewed spiritual-minded connection with your former musical partner; happier connections with men; renewed connection with Jesus through the book you’re reviewing [Walking Through Illusion by Betsy Otter Thompson: see review at]. . . .

. . . Once again your spiritual sensitivities have brought you to overwhelm, and a “time out” is indicated . . . including a “time out” in your mind. Get out of town; find a good novel to read; remember there’s “nothing to get hung about” as The Beatles sing in “Strawberry Fields”; get off the treadmill of “getting better” and love yourself the way you are: self-approvement rather than self-improvement—a big one for you right now. You’ve gotten enough from the Louise Hay / Dr. Wayne Dyer et al group right now. You know the power of affirmations and which ones to use, especially “I love you, Neall; I really love you. You are perfect just the way you are,” while looking into the mirror. It will change your reality, as you can sense yourself. You will become more real. . . . Take the time, Neall, to nurture yourself in this way, just as you do with your long hot showers, attention to nutrition, nature nurture outings, music-listening time outs, and automatic writing sessions. We will always help you, as you are getting to trust. We are available 24 / 7, “no matter what the weather.” You are safe, secure and supported. Let it in, dear Neall. It’s called Love (and Light) (and Wisdom) (and Humour) (and Compassion) (and Friendship) (and Peace of Mind) (and Trust) (and Faith)—no end of help, from the God of Rumi, from your Source of Spiritual Nourishment, which can change your whole life, through helping you change your thinking—today. . . . Come back to reality, Neall—it’s knocking on your door. Come back to loving and being loved. Warm yourself at love’s invisible flame—for Good, which is God, nothing more, nothing less: the Good Life. . . .

. . . We are never far away, Neall, and we send you off with our good wishes. . . . Vaya con Dios, dear persevering one. Be blessed, and healed in your mind, now and always. . . . And so it is.

January 29, 2011: A & W Restaurant, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall.

What’s the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery tonight? What would God want me to know? My faith is not strong at the moment. How can I restore it?

Hello, Neall. We are glad to be in communication with you again. It’s been a few days. . . . Yes, as you are thinking right now, it is useful to think of us as you think of your mentor, J. B., who always has energy and is glad to see you; likes you; and accepts you just the way you are. This is the great surrender for you—self-love. It’s the place where great growth can happen as you emerge from self-judgment, self-criticism and catastrophic thinking. You had a setback today with hurting your back. But your direction is generally becoming more positive, more into the red-orange-yellow-pink, more laughter and smiling, more connectedness. You are finding your way, Neall! The Louise Hay material is resonating with you, and the affirmation game sits well with you, especially the self-approvement rather than self-improvement lifestyle. It’s all about heart, Mr. Neall, as you are becoming aware—heart and soul. . . . Keep up your physical exercises and yoga; they help to balance and uplift you. And, as we keep saying: Don’t ever stop; don’t quit wanting to learn about the Good Life, the life of purpose and happiness, of meaning, of making a difference, of personal growth. We will be with you in this. We don’t quit either—never have, never will. That’s our strength, and you’re welcome to as much of it as you can let in: eternal, compassionate, radiating Light and Love; unconditional caring—even for you, having moved your heavy van seats today and strained your back. . . . Imagine no self-blame in this situation. That’s how we see it: no blame, no judgment, no criticism, no self-flagellation—just a return to self-love, support, positive self-talk. You did well to sit for one hour in meditation; to stay positive. It helped, as you noticed. . . . You are learning that there is “always something you can do,” or “there is always a way.” This is progress into the positive life you are seeking. Again we say: Don’t quit. And also: We are with you. It is no effort for us. We are not tired, exhausted, fatigued, indifferent or abandoning. Rather the opposite: energized, caring, concerned. . . . Vaya con Dios, Mr. Neall. Enjoy your walk home in the fresh night air. . . . We are always available for this dialogue, which can go on forever. . . . Forgive yourself for having hurt your back, and see how you’ll have a good Sunday tomorrow. . . . Your friend, your Higher Self, who will never let you down. Please remember this. It’s what friends are for. It’s called love (the healing force).

February 2, 2011: A & W Restaurant, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall.

What’s the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery today? What would God want me to know? I’m feeling tired and unhappy.

Hello, Mr. Neall. You will get a good rest with your housemate gone away for a week. Take every advantage of it. Remember your disciplines: walking / fresh air, meditation, reading, this writing, yoga / stretching. Be gentle with yourself as you recharge and renew your soul. Remember that you are loved just as you are: tired or not; wealthy or not; with a vehicle or not; solitary and silent or socializing. Don’t forget to ask for help; it is available. We will help to restore your health in this “new world” you are learning to live in, that you have hints of in today’s sunshine. It is the precursor of more, and you’re getting hints of empowerment; hints of what the Good Life is like: good connections with like-minded others; more money luck; feelings of satisfaction; purposefulness; courage; a sense of humour; connection to God / Higher Self; freedom from fear and worry; feeling useful in the world. All are possible for diligent students, so keep going, keep growing, Mr. Neall. It all looks good on you. . . . Vaya con Dios, your Higher Self: beloved friend, compañionero, mentor, ever-present source of nourishment.

February 12, 2011: My home, Sandpiper Drive, Courtenay, BC

What’s the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery tonight? What would Light and Love want me to know? I’m suffering too much again with low back pain and am asking for help. How did I create it this time? Or, better question: What can I do now, to feel better tonight?

Dear Neall, Patience is a key ingredient of spiritual growth, as is steadiness. You’ve freed up new energy with your healings of the past two weeks, especially your intense grieving of Wednesday evening, and then had the long phone conversation on Friday evening in which you depleted yourself again. . . . You’re making good progress overall; time to rest and recharge, get your sense of direction clarified now that more of your painful past has gone, and you are getting more strength and hopefulness. Keep meditating, walking, doing yoga, praying, studying. Soon you’ll be able to have fun; feel free enough and trusting enough in the world around you / in the Universe; move a step further into the Good Life. . . . We are all cheering for you as you continue to release your past, and learn happiness and peace and empowerment (not in any specific order). The “doors of heaven” are always open, Neall; and there are those with open arms waiting for you. As you know already, those experiences are available on Earth, too, and that is what being a Lightworker is about: demonstrating courage and encouragement and compassion and knowledge and wisdom and self-love and creativity and happiness. This is where you’re headed: This is you, dear Neall: angel in human disguise. . . . Don’t stop, Neall. Find a way . . . to make each day work for you. As you’re learning: There’s always a way; always a way to make things work—your new philosophy. . . . Patience, dear Neall, and gentleness will take you far . . . and we’ll be with you, ‘cause we are friends who support our friends in their wellness and life path. . . . In other words, “You are not alone.” . . . That’s right, Neall—not alone. You are not alone in the Universe, as you sometimes think. We are with you, with peace and love and hope and connectedness. It’s the truth of who you are / who we are. . . . No end of help is available, 24 / 7, and it’s part of your growth to understand this, and we are glad to teach it—it takes no effort on our part. Just let it in. . . . Know that you are loved, Neall. Know it in every cell of your body and brain; throughout your mind / consciousness. Be love and be loved. You’ve heard that before; good to remember. We are glad to remind you—it’s easy for us.

That’s what I want and need tonight—renewed ease, effortlessness and peace.

You’ve got it: upliftment. Not “your tax dollars at work” but your Higher Self, doing our “job” of helping to uplift humanity; helping to open hearts; teaching wellness; providing what’s needed, to those who ask: “Seek and ye shall find”; encouraging people to exercise their spiritual muscles; to get acquainted with “the friend who never leaves”; the “boon companion”; the Comforter; the Beloved (of whom much has been written, in many cultures). . . . You are safe, secure and supported, Neall; delivered to your “best self,” your company through the night; through winter grey; through every trial. . . . Just keep asking; we’ll keep giving . . . and best of all: We are part of you. . . . Vaya con Dios, Mr. Neall, steady student, learning to forgive, to “let go and let God”—forever. Don’t ever stop seeking, and finding, what you need. . . . Blessings, and Happy Valentine’s [heart symbol].

February 17, 2011: Timmy Ho’s, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall.

What’s the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery tonight? What would God want me to know? I don’t know what’s happening with my health; the possibility of “feeling good” seems far away.

Hello, Mr. Neall, student of wellness, seeker of the Good Life. Please remember that there is no judgment on your life. We know that you are doing the best you know how, every moment. Whatever you do doesn’t detract from our love for you, of which there is no shortage now, nor will there ever be.

What can I do to feel more hopeful?

Keep planning your summer, Neall: your solitude in Nature. Your “work” is done for a while—no more selling of images or writing of book reviews to do. Your soul will expand and your body relax. A smile will return to your face. “Love will build a bridge between your heart and others.” You’ll be happier . . . and we’ll still be with you! . . . as friends, companions, mentors in effortlessness and in freedom from fear and worry and in happiness, bliss and peace—all of it. We never go away; we can be trusted; we never interfere; we have a sense of humour; we hold an image of limitless potential for wellness for you; we are patient; we urge you to keep going, keep growing, to never quit, to love yourself and forgive yourself daily, to continue your disciplines of living one day at a time and your exercises like Buddhist deep breathing, your joy-seeking, your gratitude work. As you know, it pays off—sometimes quite quickly.

Yes, it does, as in my upcoming three-week trip for dog-sitting in Vancouver. Thank you.

You are welcome. . . . Vaya con Dios, Mr. Neall

February 19, 2011: My home, Sandpiper Drive, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall, ready to serve.

Thank you. What’s the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery today? What would God want me to know for my best and highest good?

Believe in compassion, Neall—compassion for yourself; believe that you are always doing the best you know how. That’s one big step in having a good day. Together with your “I love myself” affirmations (especially after doing something you’d be inclined to criticize yourself for); they will move you out of despair and hopelessness and into the kind of life you want—a life in which liking yourself is the foundation, rather than self-loathing. That’s the “expression” that is your red-orange-yellow-pink aura. Embrace it for all you are worth, as you embraced today’s sunshine with walking and sightseeing and napping in the sun’s rays in your van.

Thank you. . . . I heard on the Louise L. Hay CD “I Can Do It: How to Use Affirmations to Change Your Life” that stress is about the fear of embracing the constantly changing nature of life. That sounds like good information for me. I don’t want to stay stuck in my old fears any more. I want to be moving forward.

You are, dear Neall. You are progressing; living more fearlessly; connecting; resting when you need to; asking for help when you need to, as you did this morning; becoming more mature. We celebrate these advances with you. We never go away—we are part of you, remember. When you are happy, we are happier. We know that bliss and peace and happiness are available to everyone at all times, and we encourage you to get your share, by tuning in to us, by including us in everything you do. Why not have more fun? Why not smile more often? Nothing is stopping you but your beliefs that you have to be miserable. And we are glad to help with those, which are strong systems you have in place. . . . There is no blame for growing up in an unhealthy environment; likewise there is no reason to keep those old patterns in place now that you are an adult and free to make different choices. And you have our support to do this—one day at a time, one step at a time, one grieving session at a time, to gradually recover your original, empowered good nature. . . . You get hints of it now and then, and we know you like it—“sunshine mind”; emotional liberation; freedom to be yourself, giving and receiving in the reality of this world, free from illusion and complexes and obsessions. . . . Welcome to a new life, the “reinvented Neall”; “Mr Red-Orange-Yellow-Pink,” with a sense of humour, feeling safe, secure and supported—the gift that is life in the present moment. . . . Welcome to it, Mr. Neall. . . . Vaya con Dios, your Higher Self.

February 25, 2011: Timmy Ho’s, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall.

What’s the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery tonight? What would God / the Universe want me to know today? I want help for my lower back; to feel good today.

Welcome, Mr. Neall, to your “old haunts” in Burnaby, where you had many good times at the home of Miss Beverley. We will help you all we can to have a good time during your three-week session of dog-sitting her two beloved animals.

Thank you. I think rest and disciplines will continue to help me the most at this time. It’s a new way of life I am developing; sometimes it seems there is no road map. I want all the guidance from my Higher Self I can get, in order to “stay on track.”

It’s Love and Light that will keep you on track, Mr. Neall—for eternity. Whatever time you dedicate to connecting with it will pay dividends. You are a Lightworker, giving up old habits, replacing them with new; learning to live from your heart; to feel like a success; like a worthwhile person. . . . You know we will give you all the support you can handle to live the Good Life; and we will do this through eternity—with love. [Busy restaurant now.] . . . Vaya con Dios, your Higher Self, your friend and compañionero; the spirit of Rumi; the God of Love.

February 27, 2011: Timmy Ho’s, Lougheed Mall, Burnaby, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall, always with you.

What could I do to feel good tonight? I see now that this is now my main, daily goal: accepting that I deserve to feel good and to live the Good Life; to be “standing on my own two feet”; to open my heart; to bring Jesus (and other teachers) into my life as a friend; to highly value friendship and happiness and peaceful living.

Right on, Mr. Neall. Every day, day by day, whatever it takes to feel good. It is indeed a new style of life for you, but one you are learning to navigate. Remember to ask for help whenever you need it. We are glad to do so, and it is also part of your learning that you are not alone. You are learning about the “juicy” life—about being a fully alive and empowered and connected soul being. Don’t stop growing; don’t stop learning; don’t stop singing; don’t stop writing and taking pictures, building your dreams into reality; don’t stop studying wellness, becoming more human, more heart-centred: courageous and compassionate. . . . As the books you read conclude: the answers lie within you; and with your connection to Higher Self. We will always help you. We are the answer to what you are looking for. Taking time to connect with us is part of a good plan to be in a good state of mind; to appreciate positivity: all the things we talked about above. . . . Keep reaching for the Good Life, Neall. You’re worth it. . . . Vaya con Dios, your Higher Self—a winner [I had watched the Oscars on TV earlier].

March 8, 2011: B.W.’s home, Bartlett Court, Burnaby, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall.

So, I have followed my instincts and come to the Lower Mainland for three weeks, where I am now suffering from an even greater level of over-stimulation and sleeplessness than in Courtenay. I know there’s no one to blame, but can you please help me understand what is happening here, and what I might do to alleviate this painful condition tonight?

Dear Neall, First of all, we have nothing but high regard for you, and think well of you at all times (unconditional regard). We are a force of Love and Light that cannot be stopped. We simple ARE. The place to look for us is in your heart; in the qualities of self-approvement, self-affinity and self-acceptance, of forgiveness, courage and compassion. Forgiving your past will help you to move through this situation. You are starting to see, these days, what it is like to live in present time—2011 rather than in the past. It is your moment of power, your place from which to move forward in the journey of life—life as a spiritual being; a life of empowerment and thus more happiness, peace and joy. We fully support this way of life, and the release of stress from your body / mind; the transformation of pain into life energy. We are always available to help with this; to teach the wisdom of the heart; relaxation of the mind. . . . We are “experts in wellness.”

I could use an expert in wellness right now. What can I do to reduce / transform this stress level; this high level of overstimulation? And what am I doing here in the Lower Mainland? What am I learning from this trip and this dog-sitting experience at my friend’s? Enlighten me, please, my wonderful Higher Self.

You are getting perspective on your first year in Courtenay. You are road-testing your vehicle for longer trips this summer. You are picking up your remaining possessions from Vancouver storage. You are giving and receiving love among friends, including animal friends. You are launching the next phase of your healing journey by visiting with your former yoga master, Swami Maheshwarananda, and getting more support and companionship for a new kind of life from here on in. You are learning that you are alive and connected at levels you wouldn’t have thought possible a few years ago. (And by sitting here at this table for the first time this morning to do this writing, you found the new bottle of plug-in household fragrance that will help alleviate the dog smell in the carpet that is bothering you.)

Thank you. Please continue to guide me.

We will. We have nothing else to do, and are always ready to help—as you are learning to do as well. . . . Vaya con Dios, our friend. “Keep the faith.”

March 30, 2011: McDonald’s Restaurant, Walmart, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are always here, dear Neall.

What’s the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery today? What would God / my Higher Self / the Universe want me to know?

We are available to help you continue “changing your mind,” Mr. Neall. And since you are also interested in changing, we can work together for your better life. You have taken a big step by reconnecting with Swami Maheshwarananda last week in Vancouver. You will find your growth accelerating now: more energy, more strength, more courage and compassion, more peace of mind, more wellness, more connectivity, more empowerment, more protection—and thus more happiness.

That’s a lot of change to contemplate.

It’s your time, Neall. Welcome it; embrace it; let it happen. You have nothing to lose but your misery. You are being given everything you’ve ever wanted. All you have to do is keep up your disciplines: yoga, walking / fresh air, this writing, prayer, meditation—and take every possible opportunity to enjoy yourself, to smile and laugh.

I am willing to do this. I want the Good Life.
And we want it for you. As teachers, we want our pupils to succeed. And we are teachers “custom-built” for you—the kind of relationship you have always wanted: positive, patient and one that guarantees success. Just “stay with the program.”

I am willing to re-commit to being a diligent student, here and now. Do you hear and accept this statement?

We are with you, Neall, for all of it: everything you go through, without judgment—ever. And as you free your mind from judgmentalness, you will find a whole new reality opening up—one you will like. And we’ll be with you in that, too.

That will be just fine. I don’t want to journey alone any more.

There is no need to. We are always available—and always will be. We are eternal, and unlimited; and we care about humanity, of which you are a part.

What else would it benefit me to know today?

Just have fun; enjoy the sunshine; do your best; forgive yourself when you screw up; keep going, one day at a time; grieve when you need to—you know its benefits: empowerment. . . . We will never leave you, Neall. We are part of you. You will never be abandoned by us, ever. It’s not possible. . . . Vaya con Dios, Mr. Neall. Go with God.

Thank you.

March 27, 2011: McDonald’s Restaurant, Walmart, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are with you, Neall, with warmth, comfort and joy.

Thank you. What’s the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery tonight? What can I do to feel good today?

You are making good progress, Neall, in incorporating the red-orange-yellow-pink energies; in developing a ‘connected’ lifestyle; in finding hope and happiness; in getting a smile on your face; in releasing fear and the past. Remember, there is no judgment on you; you are lovable just as you are—every moment, every day. Remember the feeling at the Swamiji lecture at the Unitarian Church in Vancouver the week before last. You are known, loved and welcome in this community. You “just showed up.” There is no efforting required on your part.

That’s what I want: no more struggle; no more efforting to feel welcome; no more abandonment; more ease; more happiness.

It is available, Dear One. It is available. We hear your “thirst for righteousness; for justice; for peace of mind.” Keep going, keep growing, keep opening your heart. In your heart you are never alone: you are with the Divine Intelligence that answers your prayers; you find the courage to keep moving forward. As you are understanding these days, courage is what it takes to heal your life—courage and discipline (which you know a lot about already, as you engage in it every day).

Remember again, Neall: No one is judging you: health food or fast food; lose your temper; overcharge your friends for editing services in a moment of revaluing your self-worth; worrying about needed dental work, or financial well-being, or your van’s mechanical soundness, or not getting enough solitude, or being alone too much. We are with you in all of it. Let us in. “Let go and let God.” We are glad to bring effortlessness and ease to all these situations; to bring problem-solving love to replace worry and fear—always, in all ways, any way we can reach you.

What could I do to best let you in today? How would I surrender at this moment in a way that is comprehensible to me?

You’re doing it, just by taking time for this writing; by putting your attention towards it; being willing to change your mind, to get unstuck. . . . We are with you—with unlimited, eternal thinking: no end to it. And we are patient. Take your time trying out these ideas. See what works for you. We’ll always be here—no problemo, Mr. Neall. Always. We will never leave you. Releasing your fears of abandonment can be done—through reaching for the unlimited, the cosmic, the universal peace of God . . . something far different than your childhood version of God: the destroyer, the punisher, the unhappy one, the cause of your suffering.

You are reading me well there.

We are “experts in wellness”—remember?

I do. Good to know you, to “have you around.”

Everyone is “hardwired” for this, Neall. Your searching, your writing can help them to remember. . . . We want peace for you (and everyone else) as much as you want it for you. That’s the game that’s available to be played: the Inner Peace game.

I’m all for that, so if this dialogue helps that to come about, I will surely continue it. This is part of me becoming happier, I realize. It’s a long road, but I have “good companionship.”

You do, Neall. Never forget that—ever. . . . Vaya con Dios, compañionero. Travel safely.

April 5, 2011: Timmy Ho’s, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Neall. Go ahead.

What is the most important thing I need to know tonight about my health / healing / recovery? I never thought I’d be dealing with such a degree of discomfort and stress as I am today. How can I stop causing this, and what can I do to alleviate it now—to transform this pain condition into useful life energy? Help!

Hello, dear Neall, faithful student of wellness and higher learning, scribe, artist, friend, seeker of sunshine. Please know that we are with you, that you are not alone. There is “work in progress”; developments are occurring. There are many with you in the invisible realm, whose presence is uplifting. You have “earned” their help through your emphasis lately on positivity and self-love. Disciplines pay rewards, and you are a disciplined man, learning what it takes to live a Good Life. It is available to everyone—always.

Thank you. Do I have to live in complete solitude to live with less stress—or at least for another year? Please advise.

You are learning to live in love and light, to know what makes you happy; to become happy (and healthy). It’s a study you’re in, a recovery program; lifelong learning—you’re a “work in progress.” Notice how you loved your own energy as you walked here tonight—no tiredness, though you’ve walked several miles already today.

I do appreciate that—a lot.

There’s more to come, Neall, as you transform the “stuckness” of your past into purposeful living. . . . Hang on to your hat (keep up your disciplines). . . . You are not alone, remember. Part of the journey is letting in those who love you, who give you their attention, who want to be with you. Their number is growing, and will continue to grow. As we’ve said before: You won’t recognize yourself . . . but you will like yourself—because you have demonstrated courage (read “heart”)—and that brings in the other qualities of the heart: self-affinity, self-approvement and self-acceptance—i.e., “liking yourself.” You get the whole package. Plus you get us—your “steady companion”—in the bargain: the one who helps you “change your mind” at any hour of the day or night, and is glad to do so. And we are part of you, Mr. Neall—always available, always uplifting, finding the Higher Order, the bigger picture, the sunshine, the hope, the way out of today’s conundrum, the promise of the possibility of awakening, of being happy here and now, of feeling safe and secure with jump in your step, of never being alone again—unless you want to be.

I surrender—you know everything about what I want!

It’s our job, it’s effortless, we love what we do—and we will be doing it eternally. . . . Love and light, Neall; love and light, here and now.

Thank you. I am willing to follow where you lead. With you, I get what I want—what I’ve always wanted: the Good Life.

Keep going, keep growing, Mr. Neall. Spirit is with you. . . . Vaya con Dios.

April 10, 2011: McDonald’s Restaurant, Walmart, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

What’s the most important thing to know about my health / healing / recovery today? What would God wish me to know? I’m seeing from the current book I am reading [The Healing Power of Illness by Thorwald Dethlefsen and Rudiger Dahlke] that I am perhaps in some danger, from refusing to see myself as one with the Universe (all-one) and instead remaining alone. What is the most important attitude change, or other kind of change, that I could make in this regard? What would bring me the most health and happiness?

Good question, Mr. Neall. We will do our best to provide an answer. . . . The answer is love. Love connects; in love there is no fear or anxiety; the muscles relax, the mouth will smile; happiness will result. As we’ve said before, love solves problems or doesn’t create them in the first place. Love is big; love is mature; love removes barriers and is the antithesis of fear. . . . You have had the experience many times now where love enters your life: your eyes well up with tears and your problems of the moment dissolve. Your mind may start singing the song “Love Can Build A Bridge.” . . . This is what we teach, since we wish to solve problems as efficiently and effectively as possible. . . . Love and light; the light of love: double barrelled approach. . . . It works, and it works for everyone.

Thank you. Is there anything in particular I can do today to bring more love into my life—and a holiday?

Keep affirming that you love yourself, Neall, as you are doing with your mirror work. Keep meditating, as it frees your mind from problematic states or stress. Keep imagining and visualizing the future you want to create—the “blue sky world” you saw with your mind on Friday after your dental appointment, where you were the leader, the spiritual teacher. . . . And affirm your holiday too—everything you want, everything ready to go: finances, transportation, camping equipment, destination in mind—plus “sunshine mind” for a good time.

Thank you again.

You’re welcome. We are glad to help. It’s all we do, and we have “all the time in the world.” It is no problem for us. We love what we do.

Thank you. Please keep teaching me. I want to be healthy, happy and relaxed—all the time.

Good to know what you want, Neall. We are with you in this objective; we’ll never let you down, ever.

I like the “ever” part: “security through eternity.”

Indeed. . . . Vaya con Dios from the God of Rumi: your Higher Self, your friend and constant companion. “Don’t worry, be happy.”

April 18, 2011: Timmy Ho’s, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall.

What’s the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery today? How can I grow? How can I feel better today? [It’s 4:10 a.m. I’ve walked a mile from my home to the café, unable to sleep after a “bad dream.”]

Hello, Mr. Neall. Greetings on this early morning sojourn. . . . You have a good companion in your book Walking Through Illusion [see my review of it at]. Everything you want or need to know to become happier can be found in this book—as you are realizing, reading it now for the third time. You are learning that living the Good Life involves feeling good, and have realized that doing whatever you need to feel good is your priority. This is the liberated life—free from your past; “standing on your own two feet” (as you pray each day to be).

Thank you. I’ve come here walking this morning because after my dream I couldn’t sleep. I dreamt that three thieves had broken into my apartment and were taking everything in sight. When I yelled at them to get out, I was ignored. When I went to use the phone I discovered that the line had been cut. . . . What can you tell me about such a dream that could help me feel better today?

This is showing you your fears—in this case your fear that everything you have can be taken away. Because you feel more secure with life now, you are ready to face such fears. Congratulations.

Thank you. . . . What can I do to become more relaxed in general—and more connected here in Courtenay? My aloneness is getting too much for me, yet getting too close to others creates a lot of stress.

We are with you, Neall—right now, teaching you about the heart, teaching everything that is in your book with the beautiful, warm, red-orange-yellow-pink cover. Let it be, Neall (as the song states). Let it be. Let go and let God—the God that Jesus teaches about in your book, not the God of your childhood—into every nook and cranny of your life: red-orange-yellow-pink warmth in every cell and bone and thought and feeling.

That sounds like a good plan. That’s what I want. What more can I do to make this happen?

Keep reading your book; taking time for your disciplines like this one; affirming self-love in the mirror; living one day at a time; practising smiling; enjoying listening to great music on your wonderful home stereo system; taking holidays; building self-esteem by paying attention to people paying you compliments and accepting them; growing your vision; forgiving yourself when necessary; acknowledging your grief and not running away from it.

Thank you. I appreciate your presence. I want this relationship to continue.

It can and it will, Mr. Neall. Taking the time to nurture yourself in this way pays dividends. . . . Vaya con Dios, always.

April 23, 2011: Timmy Ho’s, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Mr. Neall.

What’s the most important thing to know about my health / healing / recovery today? I don’t feel well, and on my two-day holiday to Long Beach I realized that I am “bone-deep weary.” What would my friend God want me to know?

Dear Neall: First of all, be clear that there is no judgment of any kind on your life. You deserve and are worthy of all the good you can handle, whether in health, finances, career direction, relationships, holidays, and so on. Second: We are with you, as love and light, as freedom from fear and worry, as upliftment, as friendship, as companionship, as “wellness experts.” We also offer unlimited creative ideas, and a connection to eternity—the latter of which greatly creates freedom from fear and worry. We also have access to the Big Picture, which can help people stuck in addiction or in small thinking, or obsessions.

That is a big picture. . . . What might be my next step, then, in creating a healthier and happier style of life? I wish to “surrender to happiness”; to trusting in joy as a normal part of life and to male camaraderie and/or friendship; freedom from health worries and a clearer sense of a path.

Those are all worthy goals, Mr. Neall. Mostly they are reachable through an expanded capacity for self-love, including self-acceptance, self-affinity and self-approvement—in other words, through an expanded heart. You are already involved in disciplines toward this. You can spend more time on them, including your mirror work of self-love affirmations. Also: Get more sun time; expand your exercise and your prayer work. You are getting glimpses of the Good Life, of divine nature as who you are. Thus you will want to spend more time with others of like mind. That will “satisfy your soul,” and you won’t be so alone. You are getting to know yourself better and to understand what your true needs are, thus able to move forward in getting them satisfied.

Yes. The sense of being “satisfied with life” is important to me. It’s connected to peace, or contentment. A feeling of empowerment is also very important.

Indeed. You know lots about the Good Life already. Please remember what you already know. Read your own poetry, and your Internet blog of this writing, which has brought a new person into your life [the author of the book Walking Through Illusion].

I think more holidays are in order, and gratitude practice, for my new lifestyle, including my van, now running well: I can trust it to get me where I want to go.

Yes, and that’s a good metaphor for our relationship as well—trusting us to get you where you want to go.

That is a good analogy. I accept it and will work with it. This is the kind of nourishment I’ve been seeking tonight. I am grateful.

You are welcome. We are “here to help”—as you know. . . . Vaya con Dios, Mr. Neall—always. . . . We are not far away, and glad to spend time with you.

And I with you. I want to keep growing in this way, to have a “partner in transformation”; someone I can call on who is wiser and more compassionate than me.

That’s indeed who we are. Again, Mr. Neall: Vaya con Dios—in all you do and have and be. . . . In light and love. Your Higher Self. Don’t quit, ever.

April 30, 2011: Timmy Ho’s, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Mr. Neall.

Basics today: What’s the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery today? What would the God of my own heart wish to communicate to me?

Hello, dear Mr. Neall. We are glad to be with you today, reinforcing your studies, encouraging peace and growth and wellness. You are making progress—as you know—and we are with you for all of it.

Yes. I appreciate the hints of your presence through the day, or at tough moments. I am building trust and courage and faith; self-esteem and belief in greater abundance; meaningful connection with others. I want male companionship—that’s missing; though I have my counsellor/mentor, which is a help.

Gratitude is a great tool to build abundance in every area. Keep it up. . . . You are tired, so we will return later. . . . Vaya con Dios, Neall.

May 3, 2011: McDonald’s Restaurant, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Neall, ready to help in whatever way we can.

I’ve gotten very stressed again, and am losing my faith today. My summer camping holiday is taking a long time to manifest—it will be almost a month till I have the finances to get away. It looks like my health could deteriorate till then. The life of the “spiritual sensitive” is not much fun at such times. I don’t want to live like this any more. I’ve seen the Good Life, and I want it back—or I just want it, period. Please help.

Remember we said we were with you in everything—and with no judgment? We still are. You are learning quickly right now, developing confidence, a stronger voice, and more male presence; developing your new career ideas; your knowledge of healing; your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual strength;, your ability to receive; to know your boundaries, your interests, the things that make you happy; belief in your disciplines—and your love of sunshine in your mind as well as in your environment.

What else do I need to know about my health / healing / recovery today? How could I feel good today instead of experiencing this level of torment and suffering? I really could use a good friend.

We are here now, Mr. Neall. Make us apriority rather than Osama Bin Laden [reports of his death on the TV news]. We’re here as long as you need us—no limits on our helpfulness—none. We are unlimited; and we are “experts in wellness,” with a large repertoire of skills, to deal with any situation. “Ask and it shall be given.”

Thank you. I’m asking. I’m ready to surrender and to receive what I need to hear today; to discipline my mind away from the television and into reality, into healing, into the Big Picture, into faith (Following an Ideal that Heals), into health, and into happiness. I need this partnership—especially at times like this. I need to feel I deserve this kind of help first—unlimited, eternal, always available assistance with the problems of life. Please continue . . .

You’ve lost the “holiday mood,” Neall—the ability to relax and feel good; to feel safe and secure and supported; to experience joy, companionship, love, trust, connection with nature, confidence in your physicalness, in your world. You’ve lost a lot of what makes life worth living.

How did I get so far off track again?

Your beautiful spiritual sensitivity requires certain conditions for its nurturance, and these are not always easy to find. . . . You are doing the best you know how, with home and vehicle (van to sleep in). Now it’s time for something new: a life of empowerment, light and love; of adulthood, of career, of “standing on your own two feet”, as you pray daily for; of living in the God’s presence more of the time. . . . Welcome it, Neall. Welcome the God of Rumi, the God of Love and Light, of happiness, of peace, of upliftment, empowerment and connectedness and balance and meaning and purpose. . . . Welcome yourself to the New World, where fear has dissolved, smiling feels natural, torment is gone / a distant memory, where male support is normal—you have “rejoined the world,” your Higher Self with you.

That’s what I want. What more can I do to make it happen?

Believe in it. Take the time for disciplines. Invest in it. Pray for courage. Practise laughter. Avoid distractions. Meditate. Take holidays. Honour the best in people and Moments of Light wherever you see them. Ask for help, as you have done today. We are always glad to help. As you recall, when you are happy we are happier. . . . No more smallness, Neall. You are growing up, expanding. . . . Enjoy your empowerment.

I think freedom from fear and worry is the best feeling in the world, because I lived for so long buried in fears.

Indeed. . . . We were with you then, and we will also be with you in your joy [tears]. We have never been separate, and will never be separated from you. That’s your Good News. . . . Let that filter in, Neall. . . . We will always be with you. And we can always help to change an errant or stuck mind, in about an hour or so (more Good News).

This will help make me a good healer, able to help others, which is one of my goals.

Yes. Empowerment, an open heart and a clear mind are the building blocks of such a career. . . . Keep going, friend. Persevere. Persist. Surrender. Accept. Be grateful. Succeed. . . . And we’ll be with you in your success too. You’ll never be abandoned. There’s no fear, Neall, when you “Vaya con Dios.” . . . Blessings, always. . . . Your Higher Self, Tuesday version.

May 16, 2011: Timmy Ho’s, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall, in whatever state you are in, ready to communicate.

What’s the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery tonight? What would my Higher Self want me to know about wellness / peace of mind / happier life? My dream during my nap today was about driving to a race track in a car in which all four wheels went flat and the car got stuck in black, sticky gunk all over the road.

Writing is your friend, Neall, as we are. Use this to its fullest extent to get what you want out of life: purpose, focus, relaxation, connection, mental experience / stretching, self-awareness, self-understanding, joy of expression, soul growth, helping others, usefulness in society, spiritual discipline.

That’s a lot. . . . How can I set a course for myself, find / strengthen my vision, get on track, get back on track, feel pulled forward? It truly feels as if the wheels have come off.

You stopped to recharge today, Neall, with three hours at the beach; you asked [Higher Self] for help with a difficult conversation (and got it)—that’s how you do it: rest, recharge, ask for help, keep up your disciplines. . . . We don’t stop providing answers. . . . Think of that. . . . Think of eternal, unconditional love—and nothing you can do to change that. “Helping to uplift humanity”—our job. As we’ve said before, you don’t quite understand this kind of job yet. We do it out of love—or, in practical terms, “friendship.” We are helping you out of friendship—it’s what friends do. They don’t like to see their friends suffering, and will do whatever they can to help, to raise you up.

I seem to feel almost unlovable tonight, and stuck in it, thinking I don’t have any friends (or any talent). Full of self-pity, or worse, whatever that would be called. “Going nowhere,” just as in my dream . . . “going nowhere.”

Where did you want to go?

Into the sunshine / Australia; into feeling good, empowered; into lightness, joy; a vision; with friends; feeling safe, secure, supported; with a healthy mind and body.

We can help; we will help. We know about all those things. We are “unlimitedly resourceful.” We are “good people to know”; the best therapists. We can even teach humour.

Please do. I’d like a large helping of it.

[I end the session here and walk home.]

May 20, 2011: Timmy Ho’s, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Neall—always with you.

What’s the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery tonight? Some good things are happening.

Indeed they are. The past is more past; a different kind of future can be created; a future unlike your past. You are making good choices: sleeping in your van in the driveway till you’re ready to go: getting the holiday feeing; driving in the country, where you had a good “chat” with your [deceased] father: forgave him and realized that he, like everyone else in the world, always did (is doing) the best they knew how; stated your financial needs around the unpleasant “police incident” at your home you had to clean up after this week, and will place solid conditions for the [acting out] gentleman’s return to the house [friend of the homeowner who stayed upstairs while she was away and used his room for a four-day alcohol and drug binge that included stealing her car. I was interviewed by the police, and then had to recover the car from the police station].

I’m pleased to be feeling this strength, this courage to speak my true needs. I realized today this incident is a repeat of my childhood home, where my father poisoned the atmosphere with toxic rage—only now I am no longer (at last) a victim of it—and this incident was “manufactured by God” for my learning (and everyone else’s), for my exercising of one of my new beliefs: that something good will come from all “negative” experiences.

You got it, Pontiac! Time for a high five! Never again a victim of others’ toxic behaviour—a big step in healing; in “standing on your own two feet.” It’s happening, Mr. Neall: freedom from addiction, through awareness; through courage developed through spiritual disciplines such as prayer. . . . Welcome to Reality, Mr. Neall. You are indeed a good student; a diligent learner. . . . We like to see our students succeed. As we’ve said before: We are with you in everything. Now you’re seeing this at a new level. . . . Your soul is growing; you are maturing—one of your goals, right?

Indeed. And I am in good company here to be having this understood.

We are nothing but “good company”—the best kind of companionship.

Thank you. I am grateful for it, for this new level of engagement with the world.

Vaya con Dios, Mr. Neall, Mr. Soul, Mr. Adult. . . . Your Higher Self. . . . Keep going, keep growing—always.

June 2, 2011: A & W Restaurant, Lillooet, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall.

I hardly know what to say today. My holiday has begun, but not without a lot of drama. Yesterday, coming through the Coast Range mountains, climbing the long steep hills out of Pemberton, my van’s engine started to overheat. If the problem couldn’t be overcome, I was in danger of losing the van, miles from any town, losing my only home for the next three months, and losing my vision quest. I had thought, with the repairs I had had done, that the overheating problems had been solved. Turning on the heater at the highest fan speed to help drain off heat from the engine’s cooling system did nothing—there was no heat in the heater, just cold mountain air blowing (still snow on the ground in some places). Besides the engine problem, a heater line was plugged, most likely.

Finally, with the temperature gauge nearing the red zone (read “point of no return”) I had no alternative but to find a spot to pull over and shut the engine off. At the same time, a voice seemed to speaking in my head. “You’re a nuisance,” it was saying. It was a voice from my childhood.

Feeling sick at heart and very frustrated, I began walking down a gravel track heading into the woods, towards the sound of a rushing creek. When I was sure I was far enough off the road that my voice couldn’t be heard by the occasional cars going by, I began shouting out my frustrations, expressing all the hurt and anger I felt for having been treated as a nuisance by my father, and feeling unaccepted and unloved by him.

After half an hour of catharsis, my unhappy emotional state settled down and I headed back to my truck. What now? Was I going to be stuck in the mountains with a load of camping supplies and personal possessions and a useless van?

After checking the radiator coolant level, I got in and turned the key to start the engine. . . . Heat! I had heat coming out of the vents. Something was now unplugged. That meant I could help cool the engine by running the heat full blast against the windscreen. As I resumed driving the less steep section of highway now, the temperature gauge stayed within the normal part of its range, and in a state of amazement I drove the remaining 70 kilometres of the mountain-decorated Sea to Sky Highway to Lillooet, with the lyrics to “Ah! Sweet Mystery of Life” running through my mind:

For 'tis love, and love alone, the world is seeking,
And 'tis love, and love alone, that can repay!
'Tis the answer, 'tis the end and all of living,
For it is love alone that rules for aye!

Yes, here you are, Mr. Neall, with bit more respect for the mysteries of life, a bit more understanding of cause and effect. Your old understanding wouldn’t take through the mountains to “holiday land,” so to speak—to the holy land, to relaxation, to more capacity for joy and happiness, and a purposeful career, living more fully. Congratulations on making it through. You are slowly growing up, becoming emotionally healthy, and worthy and knowledgeable enough to have a career as a counsellor / healer; able to live a future unlike your past.

That is what I want, beyond my surface desires. Thank for everything you do to make that possible—including this “friendly dialogue.”

We are always available, on any difficulty / challenge you are dealing with. Use us to help build your Good Life, your new life, your empowered life, your rich life, your smiling life. . . . Your Eternal Partner, your Beautiful One, your Trusted One, your Friend, your Compañionero, the God of Your Own Heart, the Courageous One, the Compassionate One. . . . Vaya con Dios, Mr. Neall. “Keep us in mind,” as it is said. We’ll be there for your whole holiday / vision quest—always, in all ways, “Without fail—sun, rain or hail.”

June 8, 2011: Lillooet Bakery, Main Street, Lillooet, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Neall.

What’s the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery today? This vision quest / holiday is having its challenges, and my body is pretty sore. Though I’d say I’ve faced the challenges, including my own deep moodiness, quite well.

We are glad to recognize and applaud the overcoming of challenges, since we support anything that contributes to happiness and feeling good. It is your birthright to have a Good Life, Mr. Neall, to experience relaxation and good health. Keep choosing wellness; we’re right there with you.’

Thank you. I appreciate my friendship with you. I especially appreciated it this morning, when I didn’t think I had any friends.

Thankfully, Mr. Neall there is always the opportunity to “think again,” to “re-pent” [pent: from penser: French for “to think”], and those who want to grow will take up the challenge of doing so, as you are doing.

How can I best release / relieve / transform this pain that has settled in the back of my pelvis now? How can I grow out of this most effectively?

Forgive everyone, Mr. Neall. Keep letting go of your past through your various healing techniques. Keep growing a vision of a future unlike your past; keep this writing going; this stream of communication with your Higher Self. . . . Companionship for the journey (as you discovered in your phone call to a friend this morning) is part of the “Good Life game” you seek to play, of enlightened living. Look for good in everyone, everywhere you go. Keep praying for more of God’s love in your heart: it will happen. And with it you cannot fail, Neall Freedom from fear and worry will develop. Continue your studies in nutrition, together with your personal experimenting. Keep “freeing yourself” at every level. You are growing a new kind of being—one that you like. That’s the result you are seeking, isn’t it—an end to shame and self-loathing?

Yes, indeed.

We support you fully, Mr. Neall—24 / 7; always and ever. And we sign off as usual with Vaya con Dios. . . . Be well, Mr. Neall. As you are learning, you are not alone any more. Let that thought relax you, and encourage you to keep going and keep growing and to keep picking yourself up each time you fall.

June 12, 2011: Picnic table at the Old Bridge over the Fraser River, Lillooet, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Dear One.

What’s the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery and my summer of vision quest / healing today? I’ve been much more stressed than I thought.

Know that we are with you, Mr. Neall, on your early morning walks near your campsite and silent time overlooking the lake [Seton Lake] and mountains with their high clinging clouds after doing your affirmations. This kind of diligent practice sets up your day so that you get what you want—freedom from fear and worry; feeling good; hopefulness. It’s all in the mind.

I’m asking for help with prosperity issues; with feeling abundant. I’ve got sixteen days to get through until I have more financial security and can travel once more—as things look at the moment, anyway. I know my twice daily sets of affirmations are helping. The God of my childhood, and the Jesus, too, never ever mentioned money or never had to deal with abundance issues. In reading the latest book on Jesus that I have reviewed for the author [Walking Through Illusion—reviewed at], I understood more about his mastery at creating whatever experiences he wanted (for example, someone gave him a house to live in). His understanding of life was profound. I need and want examples like that, to know that mastery is possible, something to study, to reach for, to develop. I want to know more about people like Jesus.

It’s happening, Mr. Neall, it’s happening. One by one, you are adding people to your coterie of associates to whom mastery is not a foreign term, who also want to live the Good Life, who also want happiness and abundance and peace and Spirit.

True. And heart.

Indeed. That is the level that encompasses it all; and that makes this “friendship of ink and paper” possible, Mr. Scribe. As we’ve said before: This can go on forever. It’s a win-win situation.

Thank you. I feel blessed to know you; to be having these communications.

Don’t forget that we are part of you. Every human is hardwired for this kind of experience. “Take it and run with it,” we say. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. . . . “Be love and be loved,” Mr. Neall—one of the possibilities in life. Be supported, encouraged, mentored, fathered, brothered: all of it. It requires no effort on our part; and we love what we do, as we’ve said before.

Thank you. I’m heading “home” [BC Hydro’s Seton Dam Campground] for some lunch.

Vaya con Dios, Mr. Neall. Get all the nourishment you need; blessings on your journey. . . . Your Higher Self.

June 15, 2011: A & W Restaurant, Main Street, Lillooet, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall.

What’s the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery today? What would God want me to know?

Keep going and keep growing, Mr. Neall. Don’t stop. You’ve been reading about how other seekers use tremendous discipline—six hours of meditation daily—to give themselves the kind of the life experiences they want, that brings them meaning and peace and empowerment [Meetings With A Yogi: Swami Maheshwaranda]. That path is available to you too. . . . We support whatever works. Being pro-active works. Disciplines work to bring peace of mind, good health, relaxation, insights. (Remember the words “emerging from the sleep of centuries” that you heard in your mind while doing yoga a few months ago.)

It’s going to take a lot of discipline, as I’m moving into “uncharted territory” now, to develop a career as a healer, to “come down to earth,” to rejoin society after years of seeking and spiritual and psychological study.

You’re making progress, Neall. It’s all helped to set you up for what’s next. And we say what’s next is opening your heart further than it’s been open before. As we’ve discussed before, that’s there the Good Life is to be found.

Perhaps that’s the “uncharted territory” I’m referring to.

It’s the most fertile area for growth: small expansion for big impact.

All right, I’m willing to learn; to surrender to your teaching; to be more “connected”; to live with more courage; to become happier. I want to grow; that’s when I feel best: when I’m growing and learning.

An “active heart” is a good life strategy, one that makes people happier; frees them up from the past. . . . Don’t stop, Mr. Neall. We won’t either. . . . Vaya con Dios, your Higher Self, your friend.

June 18, 2011: Chevron Station parking lot, Merritt, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Mr. Neall.

I want your help. Last night, camping at Lundbom Lake, I experienced the darkest night of my life. It looked like all hope had gone and that years of recovery work was all I had before me. It was the opposite end of the spectrum to joy. I am doing my best to unwind and relax on this vacation, but I didn’t expect more stress, and am discouraged that I am not better able to build my health, as I had hoped.

We are with you, Neall, with compassion. We know every aspect of your condition, and will be with you until you feel better again (and then too). Remember, we can’t be separated. You are not alone. We don’t abandon anyone. It’s “not in our language.” We are playing another game: upliftment; constancy; heart; hope. . . . We are your friend, Neall [tears]. We do not judge.

That seems unfamiliar to me at the moment—like a new language.

It is: the language of the heart. It’s a new world, from this perspective. . . .

And what about my relationship with J.? This brings such stress into my life! I can’t tell any more whether we are profoundly helping one another (as was suggested here several years ago) or, as “star-crossed lovers,” dragging each other down. This is a big conundrum I’ve been unable to solve. I’m unable to “dump” her—she keeps coming back insisting I am her “one true love.” I want to develop my “path of happiness” through return to yoga and Yoga Vedanta philosophy and the Yoga in Daily Life fellowship.

Just do your best, Neall. That’s all that is expected of you. Do your best today to “follow the calling of your heart.” That’s where happiness lies—nowhere else. You may know the song that goes something like, “Love don’t come easy, it’s a case of give and take” [“You Can’t Hurry Love”: The Supremes]. . . . Remember, when you are happy, we are happier. That’s the goal, Neall: happiness. . . . This discipline (of writing) is helping bring you closer to that. Keep it up. . . . Even when it’s dark at night, or cool and rainy in mid-June, the light and warmth never go out here, Neall. We are always here. “Om is home,” as the yogis say . . . [tears, yawning, burping (releasing of stuck emotional energy; waking up)] . . .

Thank you. I see my “therapeutic hour” is up.

Whatever your need, Neall, it can be provided from our limitless resources. We are here to help with any situation, small or large.

This was a large one.

No problemo, Mr. Neall. Enjoy your vacation, your “holiday = holy day.” We are always available.

I am happier, and grateful, Higher Self. Thank you.

You are welcome. Please visit again soon.

June 29, 2011: A & W Restaurant, Main Street, Lillooet, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall.

Hello, Higher Self, friend and companion. I’m in a dark mood today—cynical. What is the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery today? It seems the pain in my lower back has gone “too deep” for me to get well again. This is discouraging. . . . I wish to speak to my great “wellness guidance system.” Please help to uplift me today.

We say LOVE, Neall. With love there is no fear. There is connectedness, warmth, acceptance / self-acceptance. Let us reach you with our friendship today. Let us just be with you, “hold your hand,” so to speak, as you move to the next level of awareness, move out of fear, move into more healthy beliefs, open to a larger vision of life. Sometimes all it takes is someone more experienced “standing with you.”

That is true; and what I dearly want at this moment: not to feel alone; to feel safe and secure and protected—what I never felt as a child; to feel nourished by people / by life.

Practise with us, Neall—no problem at all. We have time, we have energy and we have concern and caring. If you need a “parent for a day,” we can be that: mother, father—even a positive older brother or sister: a source of strength. FAMILY, Neall. Real love. Real support. You don’t know much about this since you have had challenging families in your soul’s history. But those days are gone now, Neall. You’ve reached the end of those kinds of experiences (repeat this sentence). You’re ready for something else now. You’re ready for love and peace and worthiness and support. You’re ready for reality and energy and smiles, and an end to victimhood. You’re ready for a new way of life—purposeful living; effective, empowered living. You’re coming “Through to the New”—things can be a bit rough at times, but you will make it.

This is the kind of support I need today. I couldn’t imagine a solution for what I was going through.

Yet you had the wisdom—and the faith—to call on us. We will always help you, Neall—always. That’s what love does: no end of help, from an unlimited bank of resources. Take what you need. It’s freely given. . . .

. . . You have been meditating on “bigness” during your holiday in Lillooet, where you can see big mountains everywhere you look. . . . We are that bigness you’ve been declaring that exists, larger than any mountain—larger than all of them put together. In that space is room for many answers to human problems. And we are only here to help—to “give them away”—that humans might become happier.

Thank you. Will you stay with me all day, then?

We will stay with you forever, Mr. Neall. It’s “what we do.”

Thank you again.

Vaya con Dios, compañionero. “Love can build a bridge . . .”

June 30, 2011: A & W Restaurant, Main Street, Lillooet, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall, glad to be of help again today.

What’s the most important thing I need to know today about my health / healing / recovery? Yesterday’s session was an important one for me. I saw the support and love that have always been missing. I became essentially an unsupportable person. Not a good plan for becoming happy—too alone. . . . I’ve been reading [in The Healing Power of Illness by Thorwald Dethlefsen] about the need for people like myself to transition from alone to all one—to being one with the whole world, seeing everyone as part of myself. What a different perspective!

Yes, Neall. Many new, happier perspectives are available to diligent students like you who want to grow. And we are with you in this growth—companion for the journey.

I’m getting a new appreciation for the notion of companionship.

Relatedness, Mr. Neall. Connectedness. We are with you. It’s what you want, isn’t it? . . . Though it might seem kind of “girly” and “unmasculine” at first.

Yes, it does sometimes.

Getting well can require being “unconventional”—though it may only seem unconventional to one’s ingrained, habitual style of life.

But it is what leads to a changed attitude, to healing. I can see that. Defeating aloneness is the goal, though, so I will ride out the tough transition knowing better days are coming. That’s exactly what a dream about a month ago showed me I’d be doing. In it I am negotiating a long, steep, narrow, dusty, canyon trail, standing on the rocks as they are rolling down; eventually at the bottom I end up standing on rich green grass.

Stay with your growth, Neall. Trust (Totally Relying Upon Spirit’s Timing) that you will get to the green grass. We’ll be with you all the way. Never quit learning, growing expanding. . . . Courage, dear one. . . . Vaya con Dios, your Higher Self.

July 2, 2011: Campsite 16, BC Hydro Seton Lake Campground, Highway 99 near Lillooet, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall, glad to be of help again today.

I’m facing car-repair and dental issues, neither of which can be solved in this small town, so it’s a two-hour drive in an overheating vehicle on a hot summer day to get repairs and worry is creeping into my life, added to my health issues. Also, I notice that it is difficult for me to be around happy people right now as my own depression / unhappiness seems nearly unsolvable. What’s the most important thing I need to know today about my health / healing / recovery?

Dear Neall: Please know that you are loved. Believe it. Believe in your joy, Neall; in your wellness; in your wholeness; in your “heart-holiness”; in your friends and your guides. We have never let you down, hurt you or abandoned you since these writings began, six years ago.

That is true.

Nor will we ever. It is our full-time job to help uplift humanity—of which you are a part. That means we never quit; it means we are always available—to encourage, inspire, love, from a non-hierarchical, non-domineering place of peace, wisdom, intelligence and common-sense non-judgmental Reality with a capital “R”. This is the healing force you have been seeking; seek no further. And the best part is . . . we are not separate from you.

That’s all sounding very good.

This is the “the Good News.”

Okay, I smiled there. . . . What else can you say that will help lift this depression, caused by suppression, repression and oppression?

We’ve already said it: “We never quit.” . . . We are eternally available. This guidance system is forever. . . . Sometimes it’s hard to grasp that.

Yes, I’m not always thinking in “forever” terms. But I experience it here and there—what I call moments of Sunshine Mind or Blue Sky Mind or the Big Picture; moments of freedom from fear and worry . . . also glimpses of happiness; of feeling good; of “being all right” instead of feeling like a defective or broken human being.

Keep asking for help, Neall. Keep up your disciplines like this writing, and beginning each day anew with rituals and prayers and affirmations; renewing your prayers at mid-day, resting when tired, and so on. We acknowledge your dedication to change; you are noticed; cared about, as in a positive family.

That is indeed a good feeling. My mind is singing “Land of Hope and Glory.”

That’s your birthright, Neall. It’s everyone’s birthright to live in this land. Again, we say, “Don’t quit.” Don’t stop seeking to understand; don’t stop asking for help when you need it. That’s a sign of wanting to grow; of maturity.

Support, encouragement, wisdom, intelligence—I’m getting it all here.

From the All here. . . . Vaya con Dios, Mr. Neall. . . . Your Higher Self, July 2/11 edition.

July 9, 2011: A & W Restaurant, Cache Creek, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Mr. Neall.

It’s been quite a camping trip so far [five weeks and not nearly over yet]. What’s the most important thing I need to know about my journey of health / healing / recovery tonight? The wounded spiritual warrior and his wounded van are returning to Vancouver Island—with a bigger understanding of karma (having seen my connection “in eternity” with the people from whom I bought the van); feeling closer to reality; and with more awareness of the path of love, peace, joy and happiness.

We salute you, Mr. Neall, for your successful planning and preparations, and also the ability to change directions along the way when required. You have renewed yourself in ways that you yourself recognize right now as you mention the word “love,” that will pay benefits eternally.

I’m asking for your help to get back to Courtenay on Monday with my problematic van. (It’s 10:00 p.m. Because of the overheating problem, which can only be solved by a prohibitively expensive engine rebuild, I’m driving in the cool night air rather than in hot sun of the day; returning to Vancouver Island where there’s not a mountain range to climb between each town).

We are glad to be with you on your ongoing adventure in healing, including overcoming of chronic tiredness, moving out of addiction to misery, your explorations in renewal and search for happiness.

As you know, I am creating a new career as a healer—setting a new direction, reinventing myself. Thank for being with me in this as well.

We are glad to assist here too. It is no effort for us, Mr. Neall. It is our “natural inclination”—a job we love to do. As you progress, you will understand this “doing what you love to do” better. We will assist in every way possible in the restoration of your health, energy resources and purposefulness, as well as feelings of abundance—the whole package.

Thank you. I’m setting out now on the next leg of my journey—a night drive from Cache Creek to Hope, BC. Thank you for watching over my progress through the winding Fraser Canyon, where massive twin-trailer diesel trucks roar along the very smooth Highway #1. If I need to rest, either myself or the van, and am not heeding my own or its needs, please let me know in some way.

Your faith has brought you far, Mr. Neall, and will continue to serve you well. . . . In love and light, Vaya con Dios, your Higher Self.

July 12, 2011: Campsite 97, Miracle Beach Provincial Park, Black Creek, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall, ready to serve.

Instead of helping build health, my summer vacation—five weeks and counting—seems to be creating a new level of health issues: back pain and colon issues, and now a new level of mistrust in the divine. What’s the most important thing I need to know about my journey of health / healing / recovery today? What can I do to restore trust or get back on track today . . . to get back into healthy internal communication with both my Inner Child and with my Higher Self . . . to feel more hopeful?

Know that we are with you, Neall. Your compañionero is here. We never fail. We’ll say it again: We never fail. We are a friend; you are loved. You are not alone. . . . You are working through deep issues of feeling abused, when you couldn’t trust your environment to nourish and support you; couldn’t value yourself; couldn’t just feel okay; couldn’t be happy. . . . As you know from your studies, the purpose of the family of origin is not make you “feel good,” but to create the conditions for the development of your soul. As such, you are “right on course.” You are learning the “lessons of love”; freeing yourself from the past. . . . This growth is something that can’t be rushed; it’s like growing a plant. As the aphorism you wrote yesterday states,

You can’t take heaven by storm—
Heaven is a hierarchy of love.

The ideas of this world don’t fit in Heaven. Pushing things or people around doesn’t create happiness; trying too hard doesn’t either. . . . You’re moving yourself forward on your holiday in the ability to see the world as a good place; as a place where you are known, loved and supported, including financially when you need extra money. . . . It’s a new place. Let in your good. . . . Let us in, too, Neall—as a source of friendship that will never judge you or let you down; as a “constant companion”; as a source of wisdom and insight; as a therapist in times of trouble. We can manifest as whatever you need in the moment. No more living in lack. Feel nourished now. Complete. Happy. Peaceful. . . . Know your way—as the path of peace. We are with you completely on this path. We encourage peace, as it brings happiness—as a result of freedom from thoughts of revenge or conflict. We are with you “every step of the way.” We like you; we enjoy your company. . . . Take a few moments (hours, days, years) to let that in. . . . You are not alone, dear Neall, and never need be again. . . . Enjoy your lunch. . . . Vaya con Dios, your Higher Self.

July 16, 2011: McDonald’s Restaurant, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Mr. Neall.

What’s the most important thing I need to know about my journey of health / healing / recovery? I’m feeling more relaxed and positive today than I have for some time.

Glad to be with you, friend. Just as your local man that you visited today, J. B., is. Let it in. He means it when he says “friend” and so do we. . . . Feel that security. Accept the love; accept the growth; the movement out of despair and hopelessness; the Good Life; moments of happiness and peace; “progress, not perfection.” Even your moments on the Internet today at your spiritual master’s website [] affected you positively. Looking at images of people who have meditated for decades can be inspiring, and a good influence. See that peace, Neall, that freedom from complexity / obsessions / compulsions. It is possible! . . . Never give up, Neall. You have many tools in your “holistic toolbox” to get you out of stuckness / negativity, and you are more willing to use them these days. Good for you. You know where the answers lie—in your Higher Self; in your divinity; in the part of you that knows the Big Picture; in your heart of hearts. . . . We will never let you down, Mr. Neall. No more abandonment, abuse, violence, craziness, distancing, criticalness. You are becoming free of all that. . . . That is the promise of this philosophy. Keep up your practices—they work.

Thank you. I accept the promise: the possibility of a changed mind; of “singing a new song”; of happiness and peace; of living in present time, free from negative karma; of living as I have for the past six weeks of camping holiday: looking forward to the adventure of each new day, seeing new views; freedom from fear and worry. . . . I’m asking for help in maintaining that attitude; of growing even more in internal strength from here on.

Knowing what you want and asking for it are two ways to make sure that that happens. . . . Keep going, Neall. Keep praying, affirming, doing meditation / mantra practice, exercising, getting fresh air, doing this writing, developing friendships, living one day at a time. Keep your program going—forever. You’re building a way of life that works for you; building faith. That’s the most important thing to know today. . . . Don’t quit, ever. You are a building a new world—and we are with you in it. . . . Vaya con Dios, your Higher Self. “Go with God.”

July 23, 2011: Campsite 97, Miracle Beach Provincial Park, Black Creek, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Mr. Neall, ready to communicate.

Thank you. What’s the most important thing I need to know about my journey of health / healing / recovery tonight? There’s been some progress with my Inner Child. He’s not so angry now that I’ve said “Im sorry” to him perhaps a thousand times today. It’s taken seven weeks to begin to understand my situation and then to establish communications, and to overcome my “crisis of play.”

You’ve done well to reconnect, Mr. Neall. As you know, your happiness depends on a good level of communication with him. He has the (spiritual) energy for play that needs to find an outlet or it turns negative in the body and creates health problems. Your perseverance to reach him will pay big benefits. We salute your knowledge in this area, and are glad to be your “partner in healing.”

I am just halfway through my three-and-a-half-month summer “journey of healing / vision quest.” I want to keep camping until my house-sitting gig in Union Bay on September 15. It will require an additional level of faith to run my (wounded) van and find free campsites till then. I’m asking for your presence and support, to feel worthy and strong for this experience, and to develop a vision for what to do and where to do it for my next few years. I wish to use my time well, and to have sufficient income to live worry-free and to be making good connections and to be well-nourished, in every sense.

We want every happiness for you, Mr. Neall, and will always be with you. We are friends who like each other’s company. We can travel together forever.

That would be my choice.

And why not? . . . Blessings, Mr. Neall. Vaya con Dios, as day ends and night begins. [I’ve been sitting at my campfire, writing till the light has faded.]

July 29, 2011: Picnic table, Merville General Store and Café, Highway 19A.

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall—anywhere, anytime.

What’s the most important thing I need to know about my journey of health / healing / recovery tonight? I’ve been facing some big challenges, especially yesterday and overnight. The hours I spend repeating affirmations and doing mantra meditation are helping to manage the pain.

You have powerful tools for managing your health, Neall, and for mastering life, and you are willing to use them. Plus, you found a way to play yesterday [water slide at Comox Valley Aquatic Centre]. Don’t quit, Neall; your life is getting interesting.

You’ve said before that these health issues are from the “museum” of my past. Can you say more about that? I am aware sometimes that I’m not in present time at all; that I have no feel for the modern world; I’m surprised at times to be living in a world of mostly gas stations and “real estate for sale” signs that is moving faster that I ever thought the world moved.

Dear Neall: First of all, know that there is no judgment on your rate of spiritual progress in any way. Everyone is doing the best they know how, all the time. . . . We say, learn to love, Neall, including yourself—especially yourself. You deserve it; you’re worth it—claim it. Take the time for it, as you are doing with your summer-long holiday, finding your way: the path of love and light, of friendship, of connectedness, of meaning, of constant growth, of happiness. . . . Yes, that word. . . . Feeling safe, secure and supported, protected and happy. “Sunshine mind.” “On course.” Energized. Smiling. Free from worry and fear. . . . Yes, all of that.

That’s a lot. Yet I have seen others living in that state, so I know it’s possible.

Indeed, Mr. Neall—through building faith and trust, and through relaxation and disciplines, and through following the heart. . . . This is the promise of spiritual growth. . . . Plus “friends in high places”—as you are discovering. . . . Please remember that there is no judgment on your progress, your financial state or anything else. We are glad to teach you this, student of the light. . . . Vaya con Dios, your Higher Self.

Thank you.

August 1, 2011: Campsite 31, Kitty Coleman Provincial Park, Merville, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall—within you.

Thank you for guiding my health and recovery. Today, upon finishing reading the recent Beatles biography by Bob Spitz I had a powerful grief response. Yesterday when I stopped reading for the day, I imagined vividly that I actually was a Beatle, complete with mop-top hair! The music and the personalities have obviously deeply affected me. The music formed “the soundtrack of my life” (and the lives of many others) from 1963 onward, which is five decades now. Can you comment on the power of the group and its music?

Irrepressible, charming, era-changing personalities and music that is fresh and creative and rhythmic, delivered through group dynamics—the camaraderie of four “mates” climbing out of a “downtrodden” social group (Liverpool; “the North”)—carries a powerful energy. You are fortunate to have been part of that. Close harmonies and close relationships are what many people long for, and you are one of them. You know about the satisfaction created for yourself (and your audiences) from your own choral singing and ten-year singalong musical partnership.

Indeed. . . . What is the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery tonight? I have added to my intake of supplements to get as much high-powered nutrition as I can.

You are like the members of the Beatles in that you are ambitious and want more from life than what the world around provided during your own growing up. You see now that your surroundings were simply unable to give you what you wanted—just as the surroundings now at your campsites (fellow campers) are unable to nourish you, given your inner desire for meaning and purpose and creative fulfillment and spiritual connectedness.

Thank you. That’s helpful—just what I needed to hear.

Regarding nutrition, continue to let your intuition guide you, as you were guided to resume taking Immunocal Platinum [whey protein isolate powder from a company called Immunotec; see]. . . . We leave you to prepare your (overdue) lunch. Blessings from your Higher Self. Vaya con Dios, friend.

August 6, 2011: Parking spot off Highway 19 overlooking mouth of Campbell River, Campbell River, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Mr. Neall.

What’s the most important thing I need to know about my journey of health / healing / recovery tonight? I see there has been progress, yet there is still a long way to go to recover my enthusiasm, my “Beatle energy,” my original good nature, my health and my vision for a career path as a healer / wellness facilitator. I realize I could make it easier on myself by consulting with you more often. I don’t believe much in effortlessness yet; I’m still struggling to trust and have faith . . . to truly believe that every time I turn the ignition key my van will start—even though it has a new starter. The same for my new life.

You’re doing well on your own tonight. . . . Please remember that we are with you every step of the way, with love and light—no abandonment scenarios; no judgment. Have all the fun, laughter, music, Beatle energy you can stand, as well as whooping it up on the waterslide as you did recently. You’re catching on; seeing how much you missed out on due to child abuse; grieving it—and moving on. That’s a good recipe for growth. It feels good to be growing, doesn’t it?

It certainly does. And your presence as friend and mentor is especially satisfying—someone who knows me.

We will be what you need, Mr. Neall; what your heart and soul long for: unending, limitless, eternal guidance; “positive parenting”; inspiration; upliftment; encouragement; companionship; wellness facilitation. And we never close, and we don’t quit on anyone. . . .

And you are part of me . . .

Exactly . . . and we have a sense of humour.

You’re quite the package.

Indeed we are. No inferiority complex here (or superiority either). No nagging self-criticism or self-doubt. No addiction to self-hatred (or anything else). . . . Just the heart of the Universe . . . in your heart.

That’s a beautiful thing to say.

We have many beautiful things to say.

“Life is short. Fill it with as much beauty as you can,” I’m thinking.

Indeed. And peace and love and harmony and truth and bliss. . . .

Is there anything else I could know about my health / healing / recovery tonight?

Know that we are with you, Mr. Neall. Believe it. Feel it. Be it. Free yourself from fear and worry; from the past. Learn to love and laugh. You will thank yourself eternally.

Thank you [tears of joy].

You’re welcome. Vaya con Dios, amigos. . . . Your Beloved.

August 10, 2011: Timmy Ho’s, Hwy 19A, Campbell River, BC
I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall, as always.

Yesterday I was happy, whistling a tune from “Buena Vista Social Club” as I entered the fitness centre for a workout. Today I am suffering, feeling tortured; imitating “the trials of Job.” As I walked out of the Campbell River Library, a man pointed at two large birds in the sky and said, “First time I’ve seen turkey vultures in the city.” I thought I was the carrion they were seeking. . . . What’s the most important thing I need to know about my journey of health / healing / recovery today? What is the truth about the Book of Job in the Bible? It seems every time I truly stand up for what I believe in, as I have done twice recently, I have to confront again my father’s abuse, still locked in my body. . . . It seems I am dealing with a crazy archetypal relationship from Christianity, the one that says: “the son (Jesus) must die to appease the wrath of the Father.” Is there a way out?

Dear Neall: Please believe us when we say, “We love you.” It’s never been otherwise, and it never will. Your suffering is not from God, but from a “mistranslation” of spiritual truth, based on an incidence of abuse / family violence in which someone acted insanely, in an arbitrary and harmful manner, which damaged your energy system and instilled in you certain beliefs and patterns of behaviour—“psychological complexes,” as were. The further outcome is a tendency to live in unreality, and a general naïveté about life (as you are realizing today).

What is the most important thing to know in order to heal this condition in my back / pelvis hips / thighs? In order to move forward in career? To regain perspective and strength?

Love yourself, Neall. Parent the child within you. Ask him what he wants and get it for him; give it to him. Ask for help from the Universe to do this. We will help you. It’s all we are here to do. We are not “too busy” or “too angry” or “too stressed” or “too” anything else. We are here to help—period. And we will. Guaranteed.

I have been naïve: about men; about relationships; about life. I’ve lived mostly as a child and am a case of “arrested development.” . . . Is what happened to me “evil”? Is that what evil is—total negation of the child?

We say, look for the good in this. . . . Think of the joke in which one of a pair of children, the optimistic one, is visiting the psychiatrist and is confronted with a pile of manure. He immediately jumps to the top of the pile and begins digging into it with his hands. Asked what he is doing, the child responds: “With all this manure, there’s got to be a pony in here somewhere.” [The whole joke, apparently a favourite of former U.S. President Ronald Reagan, can be found at:]. . . Look for the pony; the “pearl of great price”; the iota of wisdom. And we’ll be there when you do. . . . We will never leave you, Neall. Whatever you need—brother, sister, mother, father, archetypal therapist—we can provide. We are teachers of hope and courage and compassion, able to custom-build our message to the language of each recipient. That is just one of the skills we bring from our unlimited fund of knowledge; and we are glad to be able to reach you with it today.

Thank you. . . . I’m going to go relax with a burger at Wendy’s next door. It’s been years since I’ve had one.

As we’ve said before, Mr. Neall, there is no judgment on your diet, or your life— as it states in the poem you gleaned today from the Internet [see below]. . . . Vaya con Dios, student of wisdom, seeker of health.

Considering that, all hatred driven hence,
The soul recovers a radical innocence
And learns at last that it is self-delighting
Self-appeasing, self-affrighting,
And that its own small will is Heaven’s will.
—W. B. Yeats
The Book of Job / Excerpts

August 12, 2011: Timmy Ho’s, Highway 19A, Campbell River, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Mr. Neall.

I’m having a good couple of days. Yesterday I got automotive problems solved economically, received unexpected income, was energized by a visit with my mentor, and had a significant dialogue with my Inner Child in the evening at my campfire. I have been humbled by his power to lead me to “play” and thus to a happier life. . . . Today I played songs on a piano on the sidewalk outside a bookstore in Campbell River, which attracted a young girl listener, then a mature woman who sang a few numbers with me, then invited me for coffee. The power of music!

Congratulations, Mr. Neall. As you know, we are with you for everything, and when you are happy, we a happier. As we have said many times, Neall: Don’t quit; find a way to make things work. And you are doing that, though the territory you’re in now at times feels unfamiliar to you. That’s how it is when you’re “breaking new ground.” . . . Listen to the wisdom of your Inner Child, Neall: your very own teacher of happiness. He has the same Big Picture that we do; and beautiful energy. You are wise to spend time in dialogue with him. He balances out your intellect and seriousness. . . . Know that we support your current three-month holiday one hundred percent, Neall. You’re learning to live the Good Life, free of the compulsion to work. . . . Remember not to criticize yourself when you are confused or uncertain. Do your disciplines then, including this writing, or go to a movie or for a walk, or do yoga or your mantra meditations or recite your page of affirmations, in the first, second and third person, as you do. It all helps, Neall, to keep your spirits up in this new, depression-free lifestyle you’re earning to live. Again, congratulations on all your progress. Remember, as it is said: “If God is for you, who can be against you.” . . . Mr. Neall, know that we are always with you. It is no effort for us; and we like you. And we will be doing this forever. No more “falling through the cracks of society,” Mr. Neall. Rather, present and accounted for—“healthy, happy and holy.”

Thank you. Is there anything else I should know for my health / healing / recovery today?

We live in your heart, Neall. Any time you spend getting to know your heart, is time well spent. It is time in eternity. . . . Vaya con Dios, your Higher Self.

August 17, 2011: Timmy Ho’s, Highway 19A, Campbell River, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are with you, Mr. Neall.

What is the most important thing to know about my health / healing / recovery today? How can I best strengthen my faith and connect with a vision for the future?

Continue doing what you are doing, Neall: affirmations, nature time, prayers, meditations, living one day at a time, playing music, memorizing lyrics, making friends, loving yourself when you make a mistake. You’re beginning to see what “being well” actually means. Don’t stop now in gaining wisdom and understanding and peace, in accepting love, in knowing your path to be the path of personal growth. Embrace it, while having all the fun you can manage: anything that puts a smile on your face, Neall.

I’m definitely in new territory here, never having taken a three-and-a-half-month holiday before (today at the two-and-a-half-month stage). I’m overcoming the “urge to work” and learning to let go each day into a system of “future creative thinking,” in which the past no longer has a hold on me. This builds self-esteem as well, as in “loving myself.”

You got it, Pontiac! Each day, building a life you love to live; reparenting the child within; becoming the kind of father you wanted. . . . Big stuff, Neall—and you’re up to it. As your new Campbell River friend told you yesterday, your writing [this book] is a journal of courage. That’s what it takes to change a life, to heal: courage. And we are glad to continue teaching it to you. . . . And, as we’ve said many times: We are always available and we never quit. Quality companionship, n’est-ce pas?

Indeed. . . . I am grateful for this relationship. May I grow in courage, and compassion, through it.

You will, Mr. Neall, you will. . . . Never give up. Vaya con Dios, your Higher Self.

August 23, 2011: Timmy Ho’s, Highway 19A, Campbell River, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall.

What’s the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery today? I’m not sure if I’m getting sicker or healthier right now. To move beyond this “negative father complex,” including the cranky, crabby child, is going to take a lot of mental and spiritual work, it seems. It means truly leaving my family of origin behind, including the dysfunctional Christian beliefs, the hundred “Thou Shalt Nots” of the toxic father/son relationship—and finding a new family, with whom I can talk about art, music, creativity, healing and Spirit, as I am doing in Courtenay and elsewhere. I never want to go back to my “old life” of pain and punishment and a merely physical orientation to life. Thank you for supporting this journey in all its facets.

We are glad to do so, Mr. Neall, as we’ve said before. Love and light is the game that’s available, and we are “expert coaches.” Stick with us. There are other beliefs than the ones that harmed you. Hinduism, as you know, has no tradition of “dying gods” [as in the death of Jesus]. Yoga Vedanta teaches love and the cleansing of karma through discipleship with a spiritual master. Anything that leads to more happiness and peace is the way, Neall—anything . . . as you are learning through your daily disciplines. . . . Love yourself, Neall—every minute, every hour of the day. There is no more powerful healing technique available. Love makes good decisions, creates a stress-free life, heals old wounds, dissolves fear and old unworkable philosophies, moves you into present time, brings a smile to your face. It’s a “big-ticket item.” . . . Love makes friends . . . is the essence of friendship . . . is the essence of our friendship, Neall . . . our partnership in healing. . . . It is the highest and best human quality. It makes anyone more human, which is one of your goals, Neall, correct?

True. Very true.

Engaging in this dialogue, this discipline, Neall, is making you more human. . . . Pat yourself on the back for being committed to it. . . . Again. . . .Accept the attention of your coach / friend / mentor, your Higher Self, of someone with a bigger perspective than you—an unlimited, eternal perspective; a positive father’s or parent’s perspective. We provide that.

Good for me.

Indeed, good for you. You know how to create healing; you are willing to surrender to a larger perspective. . . . That is how to grow. . . . Keep going, keep growing, Neall. Never quit, as we keep saying. . . . Remember: We are with you every step of the way. Guaranteed. No judgment, no hesitation, no abandonment, no dissembling, no lies. Just healing, in the light and love of eternity. Comprenez, dear one?

I do . . . and always available.

Indeed. . . . Safe travel, Mr. Neall, always. . . .Think of us; we are thinking of you. . . .Vaya con Dios. Your Higher Self, August 23.

August 26, 2011: McDonald’s Restaurant, Highway 19A, Campbell River, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall.

What’s the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery today? The mantra meditation I do for an hour each morning and evening seems to be having a beneficial effect {Neil Young is singing “Heart of Gold” on the café radio system], as is living out-of-doors: a feeling of freshness and expansiveness all day long.

Hello, Mr. Neall. You are learning what it takes to be well, to live well, to live in the Big Picture. Sometimes one is doing all the right things but needs to do more of them. And feeling good is what it’s all about, as you now know.

I was inspired today reading about the Buddhist meditation master Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche—a seemingly ordinary man doing extraordinary work in the world.

That’s our job as lightworkers, Neallerino—to uplift, inspire, raise energy levels, provide humour, light, wisdom; to open hearts; to teach living with joy. And we do it full time: 24 / 7.

I’m all for the joy. I’ve known misery too well.

You’re making more music these days, Neall, and are anticipating getting onto your computer to process images from your summer trip. There’s your joy leaking through, despite your old habits.

Thank you. I’m in good spirits today. May this continue.

We are always available for these dialogues, Mr. Neall. Just ask. . . . Vaya con Dios, compañionero, student of the light. Your Higher Self.

August 28, 2011: Campsite 31, Loveland Bay Provincial Park, near Campbell River, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Mr. Neall, ready to heal.

What’s the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery today? I was glad to get an hour-plus in the warm sun by the lake, reading and watching the boisterous children, adolescents and adults tube-riding behind powerboats [my campsite was mostly shaded]. What a different experience of life when I am not judging it all (this in itself is a big part of my spiritual practice).

Anything that brings less stress and more happiness is a good spiritual practice, Mr. Neall, as you are learning. Speedboats, sunshine, shrieking and whooping children—not a problem for God. As you imagined yourself in their place, partaking of carefree summer fun, you raised your own energy level, and then could release the grief of your mother’s lack of childhood fun. . . . Healing, Neall—that’s how it happens. Keep at it.

I will, I will, I will. . . . Is there anything else I need to know about my health / healing / recovery today?

Trust, Neall. Trust that you will be guided to—as you state in your daily affirmations—“the right place at the right time with the right people and the right amount of money.” See how all the people in your life are helping you to grow psychologically, financially, nutritionally, spiritually (love) and career-wise as a healer. Know and affirm that this will grow; that you will grow; will keep growing, in this new lifestyle of constant growth you are in; that is feeling more natural for you. . . . Constant change—the law of the Universe, and the way to overcome stress. It’s called “being fully alive.” . . . You’re in it, Mr. Neall; you are IN LIFE now. Use all your toolbox of healing modalities and coping skills and keep going; keep getting stronger; more empowered; more beautiful in your soul; healthier and more peaceful; more useful to others. . . . Don’t look back, Neall—just forward now.

Thank you.

You’re welcome. Vaya con Dios—“go with God.” Your Higher Self, August 28, 2011.

September 3, 2011: Campsite 37, Ralph River Provincial Campground on Buttle Lake, 70 kilometres southwest of Campbell River, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self. I want to know why I have to go through the depths of hell in order to learn, as I am now. I am in a place with no phone service, no electricity for a computer, on a holiday weekend and cannot reach anyone for help. What do I need to know about my health / healing / recovery tonight? Things are looking bleak, pretty dark here in this “peaceful” natural environment. Where is God’s love and light and how did I lose touch with it, despite my prayers and meditations? I feel like a burned out piece of wood, like the ones in my campfires.

Hello, Mr. Neall. We are doing our best to reach you. We are here, available to seekers in their time of need. You are “staring the negative God of your childhood in the face,” dear Neall. It is not a pretty sight or a pleasant experience to face one’s self-negation full-on; to face one’s childhood dissolution of innocence and sunshine. . . . There is light in the Universe, Neall—in your heart. You even wrote of it in one of your songs: “When it’s dark as the night and you can’t find the light, the way out’s the way in to your heart.” [“Voice in the Silence”] . . . Think love, Neall. What do you love? Those photographs you took yesterday at Lower Myra Falls—love of beauty in water [see, the Set called “Vision Quest 2011”]. . . . Singing, Neall, with your resonant voice. . . . Listening to music: your marvellous CD of operatic arias, male and female voices [The Best Opera Album in the World . . . Ever! (EMI)]. . . . It’s all light, Neall, able to be nurtured and to grow larger. . . .

. . . Forgive yourself, Neall, for choosing such a path of growth. Find your compassion for all of struggling humanity that also battles similar negativity and darkness. . . . Forgive yourself until your heart opens. . . . We are here: friends, companions. Break the old habits now. Think of Thich Nhat Hanh, whose book [Touching Peace] you are reading and what he went through and then found Buddha nature in a mindful heart. . . . We are “knocking on your door,” and will continue to do so forever. We never quit. . . . Love and light, Mr. Neall, from one heart to another. Can you hear us? . . .

Yes, I can.

Build your heart, Mr. Neall: self-affinity, self-approvement, self-acceptance, courage and compassion. Let in the light, by letting go of your negative mind; your fears from childhood; your old image of God. Open to friendship. We offer it freely. The “old God” (in you) didn’t have a friend; the new one has sufficient to create happiness. . . .

Thank you. I can go back to sleep now.

September 5, 2011. Campsite 37, Ralph River Provincial Campground, southwest of Campbell River, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall, joining you in the bright sunshine and afternoon warmth of a summer day.

What’s the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery today? This will likely be the last day of my stay at Ralph River—and one of the last few days of my summer holiday / vision quest. Thank you for being with me the whole three-plus months, especially during the darkest parts. It’s time for some more healing on getting out of the “emotional hell” I live in too often. I seem to bounce between that and “emotional heaven,” when my back is relaxed. I want a way out now—as quickly as possible. Thank you again for helping with this growth . . . and with helping me find my way from here.

As you know, Neall, we are always available—day or night, anywhere and everywhere—for this work of spiritual growth. Call on us summer or winter, hot or cold outside, stormy or calm. We are part of you, so we can never leave you!

As my holiday ends, I want to take whatever growth I have experienced on this long, solitary trip and move forward—really not look back any more. The question seems to be: What and where to? I realize that I am what the Buddhists call a “hungry ghost”—someone unable to put down roots anywhere.

Forgive yourself for that too, Neall. There is no judgment on ghosts—hungry or otherwise. Just show up in the right places—places where you are accepted, like the Yoga Vedanta ashram started by the spiritual teacher Swami Maheshwarananda. Love and friendship are available, even humour—just being human and interested in growth, learning freedom from suffering; getting out of “hell”; becoming happier.

That sounds good. I’m going to give it a try. Unfortunately there isn’t a centre on Vancouver Island. Perhaps I’ll head to Perth, Australia, where there is one. It’s a city I have dreamed of as “a place of hope.”

Perhaps your summer travels have given you a gift—the courage to think bigger.

I hope so.

Vaya con Dios, seeker, friend, writer, music maker, artist, traveller. . . . Your Higher Self.

September 8, 2011: Timmy Ho’s, Highway 19A, Campbell River, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall.

I could use a friend today—someone who will respond to my health situation with non-judgmental companionship . . . with love.

We are with you, Neall: patient, persevering, willing, attentive, communicative—“the whole nine yards.”

Indeed. . . . What’s the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery today? It seems it’s going to be “a long road back,” given my recent health setbacks. I’ll need a lot of courage and strength and curiosity and inventiveness and creativity and divine inspiration and guidance to rebuild my health and to reinvent myself as a teacher / healer.

First of all, dear Neall, take time to love yourself—just as you did today: “easy day”: gym and swim, lunch in the warm sunshine, listening to your favourite music, health research, automatic writing / dialogue with friends. . . . Just do your best, every day.

September 11, 2011: Kitty Coleman Provincial Park, near Merville, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall.

I require immediate help for my lower back. The intense pain has woken me up [1:00 a.m.] and there seems no end to it. I appear to be self-destructing.; the constant stress is wearing me down. What can I do? Please guide me. I’m losing my faith and thinking that even my Higher Self can’t help me any more.

We are always with you, Mr. Neall, through everything. We operate through your heart, which we are helping to keep open through this situation. Courage, dear one. Accept the presence of a friend, though in past times you suffered without one. We love you no matter your situation: That’s what friends do. It’s unconditional love. We accept you just the way you are: in pain or not; financially well off or not; high IQ or not; homeless or not; male or female or somewhere in between; joyful or not; artistic or not; sports-oriented or not; in sunshine or in rain; single or married; solitary or social; of any nationality or religion or race or skin colour; politically involved or not. . . . The non-judgmental unconditional acceptance pours out day and night. . . . Yes, it’s a big notion; a Big Picture—one that has existed forever. . . . You are part of it—the Circle of Life. Claim your place in it, Mr. Neall.

Okay, I can do that. I understand that. I accept the notion. How does this connect with my health situation?

We want you to get a notion of the “size” of the forces involved; the scope and depth of what you’re working with. It’s limitless; it’s compassionate; it’s eternal; it has a sense of humour—

I could use some of that right now.

We’re offering it: humour . . . and love. And peace of mind. And happiness.

Quite a package . . .

and health.

What must I do, and know, here and now, to get well . . . to feel well, I ask “you who are always with me.”

Keep listening to your operatic arias: they have a positive effect on your soul. Get enough sunshine—pretty easy right now [there’s a stable high-pressure system situated over western British Columbia currently]. Get exercise, of the various kinds that you do. Continue greeting each day’s light / the Sun. Do prayers and affirmations. . . . You are changing belief systems now. Believe in a new dawn within you—a happier, healthier person, who lives from his heart and his sunshine-filled soul; who loves himself unconditionally; who has enough friends and is not alone on a Saturday night unless he wants to be.

So that’s it? . . . I’m suffering from “Saturday Night Syndrome,” i.e., I need a party?

Several. . . . You’re overdue.

I’m not sure where this dialogue is going.

It’s about friendship and parties and healing and compassion and love and living one day at a time and creating hope and peace and happiness.

All right. As it is said, “I believe. Help thou mine unbelief.”

Believe in happiness and it is yours. Give up anything unlike it. Believe in God / divinity / the light in you, around you and as you. Let go of anything else; any other beliefs. Check out the Chris Griscom book you’re thinking of right now [Ecstasy is a New Frequency]. . . .

. . . “Change your thinking, change your life.” Pretty important notion. . . . Reclaim your peace, Neall: Refuse to believe in catastrophe; develop your mind in other directions, as you are doing. Take all the time you need. It’s called “spiritual work.” It’s pretty real: deals with the nitty-gritty of life—which is where you’re at, right?

Indeed. . . . Will you stay with me?

We are you, Neall. You’re doing all the writing. . . . There’s nowhere for “us” to go. . . . . Vaya con Dios, friend. Always your friend. Your beloved. Your strength. Your hope. Your light. . . . Don’t quit, Neall, ever. Keep going, keep growing the Good Life. You deserve it; you’re worth it in your soul.

September 14, 2011: Timmy Ho’s, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Mr. Neall.

What’s the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery today? I’m struggling to relax enough to sleep more than two hours at a time these days. (And I appreciate your help during my “dark night” in the previous writing session.)

Thank you. As you are learning, being aware and grateful for any and all Good that comes to you is the way to expand it. . . . Otherwise, please reread that message as often as you need to. It is the essence of the path out of where you are: out the holocaust of abuse recovery and onto the road of peace. . . . Treasure every moment of joy, Mr. Neall: playing with the dog, Tessie, at your house-sit; appreciating your skill with words on your unexpected, income-generating editing project; experiencing your scenic and pleasant home surroundings, with art and music and a multitude of plants and flowers, as well as animal companionship [a dog and a cat, that together join me on a walk almost every clear evening].

And my “steady enough” transportation. . . . Is there anything else I could do to connect with my Inner Child—thus to release tension in my abdomen?

Stop worrying. . . . A tall order, we know. But you’re up to it. . . . Reach for it, Neall. Keep up your affirmation practice. Keep looking for Good. It’s all around you—in the very air you breathe (as you wrote in your rap song “Stop, Look and Listen”). . . . Repeat: it’s in the very air you breathe. You are not separate from it, in other words. Remember that on your drive home. . . . You are not separate: You are part of the Circle of Life. Just claim your place. . . . Vaya con Dios, Mr. Neall. Unconditional love is all around you.

September 29, 2011: Picnic table, Big Qualicum Falls Fish Hatchery, near Bowser, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Mr. Neall.

What’s the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery today? I had the Good Life for one day and then have gotten discouraged again with the weakness in my legs. Can you offer some hope?

Continue your program, Mr. Neall: nutrition, exercise / yoga, healing sessions like the one with Mr. W. G. last week (EFT), stillness / silence, meditation, affirmations, mentoring, this writing—letting go and letting the God of love help you to change. Let us help you become happier. We are glad to do so, and it is no effort for us, so no guilt is required on your part. You deserve to feel good (as does everyone); you are worth it deep in your soul, your inner being; worth having someone care about you, including us—all of you: body / mind / spirit / soul . . . eternally.

Thank you. Your words are reaching me. I had “forgotten” again that such love existed. I seem to forget this quite often. I’m asking you to keep reminding me. It’s essential for my health and happiness. Please don’t ever stop caring about me. I want all the friends I can stand, especially ones like you that help lift me up when I’m down or discouraged.

We have no judgment on your state, Neall, and we never will. (Repeat this) [tears]. This is the education that you dreamed about the other night [a one-year course]. We are the teacher. Welcome back to school. . . . This is the school of forgiveness, of cleaning up of your past, of healing physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially and socially; the school of the Good Life; of the reinvented Neall—unlike anything he has lived before: opening to more light, to ecstasy, to peace of mind, to wholeness; to being in the world in a new way: free of self-doubt, self-criticism, self-punishment, guilt and shame.

I understand it is a program I need to be in.

Yes it is. The course is not “optional” (as it states in the introduction to A Course in Miracles).

Lead the way—I am your willing student. Let the changes begin. Things can only get better; I’m at the bottom.

There is no judgment on where you’re at, Neall. You are simply a student. Welcome again to school.

Thank you. I feel welcomed and supported. Others seem to be here too; I feel a sense of camaraderie with fellow (invisible) students, eager learners all of them.

Growth can be fun rather than serious; they sense that.

Will the teaching happen through this writing, or is there another vehicle (besides everyday life)?

This is the teaching. You are the student. School has begun. You have your pen and your knapsack to carry your writing book. That is everything you need. . . . You have prepared yourself for this and now it is happening. . . . Remember, we will always be with you, in love and light. . . . Vaya con Dios, your Higher Self.

October 6, 2011: House-sitting, 5th Street, Union Bay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear friend Mr. Neall.

What’s the most important thing to know about my health / healing / recovery today? I’m asking for your wisdom, your larger perspective, healing light and love, and guidance regarding a new home for October 15 when I leave here.

Dear Neall: We will do our best to help recharge your spirits and bring you strength. . . . Think about how it’s getting easier to communicate with people—knowing from your self-inquiry your own needs; and the quality of people you are attracting; about the stilling of the voices of self-negation; about being able to honestly sing on the handy piano [it’s near the dining table] positive songs like “Morning Has Broken,” “What A Wonderful World” and “I Can See Clearly Now.”

My health requires assistance. Am I going in the right direction?

You are understanding yourself better than ever, Neall: two people in the past few weeks have complimented you on your “awareness”—seasoned practitioners—and one for your courage. That’s what it takes, Neall—you are being noticed for qualities you have spent years developing. That’s the Good Life, isn’t it?

Yes, it is. . . . How can I relax and feel more positive and hopeful today? My sleep pattern is pretty erratic these days. I’m aware that sleep is no longer available as an escape from life.

You truly are growing in awareness, Mr. Neall. Congratulations. Remember to rest when you are confused or uncertain. Remember that we are with you no matter what your state. We are your friend and not judging you in any way. We wish you the best—always and unconditionally, and will continue to do so. . . . Don’t quit, Mr. Neall. There is a way forward from here. . . . Vaya con Dios. Your Higher Self.

October 9, 2011: A & W Restaurant, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall, ready to be helpful in any way.

I’m concerned about not being able to reduce my stress levels, as well as the weakness in my legs. I’m “taking the day off.” What’s the most important thing to know about my health / healing / recovery today?

Hello, Mr. Neall, and happy Thanksgiving Day. In friendship, we are wishing you all the best for this day—and for every day. . . . Taking the day off for self care is giving your wellness priority. Good for you to understand this. We support your wellness one hundred percent. . . . Please get all the rest you need in order to see life clearly and make good decisions; in order to be peaceful and happy. You deserve happiness, Neall: no one more than you. You have worked for it; it is your birthright. There is no more important ‘job’ that we do than to help humans to become happier; to feel nourished by life; to feel hopeful; to have a sunny disposition. Believe these are available, Neall; believe in your good health; your deservingness at every level. Believe in goodness. Believe in the heart from which you took those mandala photographs that hang framed in your current living room; the relationship with Spirit that created them. They are sacred images—testament to your creative mind, connected to a limitless and meaningful Universe. It is what everyone wants—whether they know it or not. . . .

. . . So we honour you Neall—for asking for help when you need it; for trusting that help is available when you ask for it; for perseverance and discipline in developing your creativity; your freedom from routine and meaningless work by learning what it is you love to do. It is still true that “love can build a bridge.” . . . Be ready to cross bridges when they show themselves—bridges to the world of sunshine you seek. We won’t let you down, ever, in developing any area of yourself that works for you, in emerging into a brighter world, in becoming stronger, healthier and happier. . . . Vaya con Dios. Your heart-centred Higher Self, October 9, 2011 version.

October 12, 2011: House-sitting, 5th Street, Union Bay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Mr. Neall, to help with faith and hope.

Indeed. I want your help today. Despite my best efforts, I’ve become quite stressed and have lost faith and hope, and any vision of a healthy future. What’s the most important thing to know about my health / healing / recovery? I’m out of ideas on changing things today.

You are stopping and asking for help. That’s a good step. Again, please remember that there is no judgment on you of any kind—never was, never will be. You have been through the holocaust of negativity; we have compassion for your situation and will do our best to speak to you from that compassionate stance. Get your holiday, Neall, where there is nothing you have to do. Feel free, act free, be free—free to develop new ideas, new strengths, new vision, new contacts, new courage. . . . We will help to change your mind into a more positive state. As you are aware, you’re not thinking nourishing thoughts: thoughts of peace, abundance, health, colour, beauty, richness and so on. Your mind is caught up in the negativity of your past, in fears of illness, death and so on. Let us help you start to let them go. Your healer Dr. A. also can help when he calls in 20 minutes for your appointment. . . . [burping / releasing] . . . You are thinking now about love . . . which is a whole different “frame of mind,” as you realize. Pale pink energy. . . . Getting curious about love is a good exercise for you, Neall. Spend as much time at it as you wish. It is always helpful.

That’s a good start. Love seems a foreign language some days. . . . Those are not good days.

You’ve got it! That’s the key to everything. . . . Keep asking, Neall; we’ll keep giving. . . . No end of help. Just being ourselves—helping to uplift humanity. . . . We have helped you many times already, and we will help you many times yet, Mr. Neall. We are not exhausted or fatigued. Take all you can handle. . . . Vaya con Dios. Your Higher Self.

October 18, 2011: Home, Alder Crescent, Gold River, BC [90 kilometres west of the nearest centre of any size, Campbell River]

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Mr. Neall.

What’s the most important thing to know about my health / healing / recovery today? I’m having trouble loving myself; the voices of self-negation are strong, especially with the sore back. . . . I had an incredible day on Sunday feeling myself in the light the whole day. Now I’m exhausted and in self-doubt and self-criticism and self-punishment—just what you stated I’m entering school to learn to overcome. It’s good to at least be able to identify the issues. . . . I am grateful for my spacious, attractive, affordable new home.

Change isn’t always easy, Mr. Neall, and you are making a lot of change right now. . . . “Keep the faith,” as we say, and as you are learning to do through your disciplines. Do whatever it takes to keep your heart open, as you have decided this moment to do, through this practice. We are always doing our best to reach you, to make things easier, more effortless and happier, to uplift and enlighten, and to bring a smile to your face. As you will recall, we have nothing else to do: “full-time job.” . . . You will eventually “get the hang of it,” as it is said. You are on your way; you have taken an important step in moving to Gold River, through your connections in the Comox Valley. . . . Continue with your gratitude work regarding making these kinds of connections—something that wasn’t easy for you in the past. You can see this is how to make things happen that you want to have happen—it’s called “becoming happier.”

That’s the plan. . . .

Indeed. . . . And it’s a good one. None better. . . . Stay connected to us and it will manifest, Mr. Neall, our friend. Step by step into love and light, into the Good Life—your prayers come true; a smiling face; relaxation; peace of mind; hopefulness. . . . Don’t quit, ever, Mr. Neall. We are always available for this dialogue—Gold Coast or Gold River, summer or winter, wherever you are and however you are. We never fail to come through—as your experience will corroborate—true, Mr. Neall?

So true. You are the steadiest, wisest companion I could ever have conjured up. Limitless and eternal too—everything I’ve wanted in a friend.

Don’t doubt it, Neall. Don’t doubt our capacity to help in any situation. . . . We will be there. . . . Just ask [tears]. Remember to ask; remember to take the time for the Good Life—it’s “yours for the asking.” That’s all the effort that is required on your part. It’s not too much work, is it?

Not at all. . . .

Welcome to school, Mr. Neall. And we do mean welcome. You are welcome here. Though doors have seemed to be closed to you in many other situations, that isn’t the case here. This is your path: love and light—the place where doors open for Mr. Neall. . . . Let that bring you comfort during the releasing of your backache; certainty in the uncertainties of life in new surroundings; peace when your mind feels troubled; companionship when you feel alone—and all available for the asking. . . . Never quit (asking), Mr. Neall. The answers are all around you. . . . Vaya con Dios. Your Higher Self, Thursday version.

October 21, 2011: Home, Alder Crescent, Gold River, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Mr. Neall.

I appear to be losing my way. After my positive arrival in Gold River on the 16th, feeling empowered and guided, I got exhausted again. Then I had the relaxing hours yesterday at tranquil Star Lake, where I fed several birds who came repeatedly to take pieces of corn chips from my hand. I thought I would able to continue relaxing, staying in “holiday mind,” free from worries, but that wasn’t to be. Last night the fierce back pain returned, and I’ve been having to manage it since. I want some help in restoring my faith that my health can and will improve; that I actually do have a partnership with you that works. . . . Am I trying too hard? What would make a difference right now?

Dear Mr. Neall: Thank you for connecting with us. We will do our best to help bring you peace of mind this morning [it’s 3:30 a.m.]. . . . First of all, know that you are growing now and no longer stagnating as you were in Vancouver. You are in “unfamiliar territory” in emotional terms. Your parents’ influence is not so strong on you any more; you are more independent. Your own new guidance system is still developing. Second, you are facing and releasing the pain of lifetimes, so you might be confused at times. . . . Know that we are with you in this (re)building process, Neall. We have no agenda to force things to happen in any particular way—that’s the old paradigm. You are realigning yourself to the stars, to divine intelligence, to love. This is what guides the people who are in your life now. It’s a big change, if you look back on your earlier life. . . .

. . . Do whatever you can to feel better, Neall—rest, do stretching / yoga, do affirmations, get help from advisers or counsellors or ministers, get a massage, take travel trips to enjoy the scenery, meditate, do this writing. Remember what nourishes and feeds you now—not the “ways of the world” but the “ways of heaven.” It is your way, Mr. Neall. . . . Let go of the old God of punishment; his days are gone. . . . Dictators are falling, Mr. Neall, because there is a new vibration in the air called freedom. Claim your freedom from the dictates of your own tyrannical past, so you can celebrate like the happy Libyans who suffered for decades.

I would love to celebrate like those happy Libyans I saw on television yesterday. Please guide me to such ecstatic experiences. That would be “heaven” for me. . . . Now I truly know what I want.

Good for you, Mr. Neall. Keep affirming it; keep doing your spiritual / personal growth work. You have your goal. . . . As you know, we are with you on this journey. Let us in, as your mind allows, to develop such (unfamiliar for now) states. . . . We will never leave you, Neall—we are you; and as such, available 24 / 7 with personalized attention, just like this morning [now 4:45 a.m.]. We cannot abandon you; it is not in us to think in those terms. We are (in a nutshell) teachers of happiness; of the happiness you seek; of the love you wish to kindle; of the peace of mind you long for. . . . As we’ve said before—“keep us in mind.” We are, in a word, “accessible”—always; willing to help—in all ways. Know this to be true, Mr. Neall, and liberate yourself—the way you felt on October 16 when you moved from Courtenay to Gold River [135 kilometres into the mountainous central Vancouver Island area] with hundreds of dollars in your pockets and friendly visits along the way.

Indeed, indeed, indeed, that was a special day. And I’m “paying” for that day now with self-punishment and more misery, it seems.

Good to know your patterns, Mr. Neall. Awareness is the key to growth. . . . “Know thyself” is a powerful dictum.

Peace, peace, peace—God give me peace.

We are with you always, Neall. Let that thought / belief bring you what you seek. . . . So be it. Your Higher Self.

October 23, 2011: Home, Alder Crescent, Gold River, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Mr. Neall.

What’s the most important thing I need to know about my health / healing / recovery this morning? How can I stay connected to my Higher Self more often, to experience more health and happiness? Once again, it seems, a change of location that at first seemed positive is turning into the opposite.

Hello, Mr. Neall.
Your changes are stressful for you, even though staying put in Courtenay was no longer an option. We are teachers of love and light, so we ask, “How can more love be brought to this situation . . . more peace . . . more wisdom?” And, “Can a larger perspective help?” (You are thinking now of the Buddhist monk and teacher Thich Nhat Hanh, whose book Touching Peace you read this summer. He has “a large perspective,” which you remember.) . . .

. . . So what does the larger perspective say in this situation? . . . First, that there is another point of view than the one you may be stuck on at the moment. Second, that this is a cause-and-effect universe: Find the cause of your suffering and you can move through it and beyond it. Third, that you may be struggling with your divinity, with your divine self, that lives beyond torture and torment; that likes to be playful and connected and a force for healing and light—to be ecstatic or happy. . . . Remember, this is the school you’re in—to release guilt and shame, to build forgiveness and to dissolve self-criticalness, self-doubt and self-punishment.

I’m listening. Teach me more.

Notice how you felt when you were copying your singing CD [of six songs] on your computer yesterday to send to people in Vancouver. You know they will be happy to receive it and play it. It was “no effort” for you to do this. . . . There is the clue: joy, lightness and ease. . . . Believe in that, Mr. Neall, with all your heart and soul and mind. Believe that pain and suffering are states to move through. . . . As was stated by Winston Churchill, “If you’re going through Hell, keep going.” . . . Keep moving, Mr. Neall. Keep opening to new ideas, helpful ideas. They are found everywhere, so they are all around you. . . .

. . . As we’ve said before, Mr. Neall, “Don’t quit.” The rightness and lightness you seek is available. Believe it, believe it, believe it. . . . Vaya con Dios, in love and light. Your Higher Self, Sunday version.

October 24, 2011: Home, Alder Crescent, Gold River, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Mr. Neall.

What do I need to know tonight, dear Higher Self? I’m too stressed to want to sleep. I don’t want any more dreams about illness. I thought I was on a path of wholeness, of getting well. That doesn’t seem to be the case any more. What’s preventing me from changing my attitude to one of hopefulness? What do I need to know, Higher Self?

Dear Mr. Neall: Love is the game / there’s no other name. . . . Let everything else go, Neall. Forgive everyone for everything. We have no judgment on you, Neall, on your “progress” or “lack of progress.” You are loved as you are, as a friend and a seeker. Think of the contemporaries of Jesus in the book Walking Through Illusion that you read and reviewed [see]—all doing their best to develop happier lives—just like you. . . . Friendship, Neall: no effort, no struggle—unconditional acceptance; being liked for who you are—even when you’re “self-destructing”; when you’re “in the thick of it”; in the addictive patterns; in the miserableness; the darkness. . . . Remember, we are with you. Let us in; let in the companionship you desire. Let someone who cares walk beside you—no agenda; no forced small talk; nothing else but love and acceptance; brotherhood / sisterhood (if it helps). . . . You’re worth it, Neall. You Are Worth It. You deserve companionship, relaxation, peace and (dare we say it?) Heaven, Neall—all around you. . . . No more hell and torment. . . . That’s the God we represent—no other than The One Who Cares, right here, in this moment—in every moment. . . .

. . . You made great progress the last two days using the EFT techniques, then you “lowered the boom” on yourself for being such a good healer. That’s your “old father pictures” presenting themselves. He’s hard to get rid of, that angry, lonely old codger; and no fun to be around—as you learned in childhood. Now it’s self-punishment—you “inherited” the pattern, internalized it, and do it to yourself. Learning to break the cycle of accomplishment / self-punishment is your homework, Neall. You’re in school, as you know. . . . Move to Courtenay and find an affordable good home on the beach—self-punishment. Move to Gold River to an affordable, nicely furnished home with mountain views through a positive, ongoing male connection—self-punishment. Develop new, empowered friendships—self-punishment. . . .

. . . So you are like a well-trained dog (no judgment): accomplishment or success leads to self-punishment every time. You are trying to “leave home” in every sense of the term: by having a satisfying career and getting to Australia (living your dream); by knowing a positive father rather than an abusive one. It’s not easy, as you’re discovering. Congratulations on having gotten this far. We know how hard it’s been. . . . How do we know? . . . We are part of you; we’ve been there all along. . . . Now that you know why your life has been the way it has, something else can happen. A new, healthier pattern can emerge. “Awareness is the key to change.” Change = Healing. . . . We’ll be with you for this too (always / in all ways).

My father once screamed at me, “I’ll never change!”

But he did, didn’t he?

Yes he did. . . . This has been most instructive. Please continue to teach me.

We have nothing else to do. . . . Vaya con Dios, student of the light, student of change. . . . Your partner, your Higher Self.

October 29, 2011: Home, Alder Crescent, Gold River, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear friend Mr. Neall—part of you and always available.

What’s the most important thing to know about my health / healing / recovery tonight? How can I better balance my needs for both solitude and socializing? I get emotionally exhausted quickly as soon as I’m in a conversation.

Keep becoming positive, Mr. Neall. Find the thread of positivity within you and keep following it. . . . Know that you are loved, thought about and well-considered by more and more people. Focus on that. Your daily walking discipline is especially good for you now, in this pure, refreshing mountain air. There’s no better air on Earth. Keep up your yoga / stretching. It always brings you “back to centre.” Everything else is just straining yourself again. “Be here now” is a powerful aphorism.

I seem to be calmer today. The hour-long self-EFT sessions have a good effect. They’re releasing more of my past; eliminating fears.

Part of your growing repertoire of healing modalities, Mr. Neall. Practise away on yourself; you have nothing to lose but the pains of the past. . . . When you are more peaceful, everything becomes easier, especially day-to-day meetings with strangers. And when you sleep better, that also helps improve your waking life. . . . Don’t quit, Mr. Neall. We are with you in this school to eliminate self-doubt, self-criticism and self-punishment, to cast off the shackles of the past, to emerge into freedom and sunshine. You are fully supported by a force that knows everything about you—as you know by now—and that does nothing but hold it non-judgmentally as potential light. . . . Change—become more peaceful and happy—at a pace that works for you. We’ll be there—as always. Without fail. . . . Your Higher Self, your friend.

November 5, 2011: Home, Alder Crescent, Gold River, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, Mr. Neall, awake always.

What’s the most important thing to know about my health / healing / recovery today? I am grateful for this connection.

Hello, Mr. Neall. We are pleased to be in contact with you again, on your day of rest from your healing studies [a tele-seminar with Mariana Cooper over 11 days]. We applaud your desire to learn, as well as your desire to feel balanced and rested. Keep going and keep growing, Mr. Neall, at a pace that works for you. You know that we unconditionally support your wellness.

How can I become happier and healthier today? Experience more joy, as I did taking my first set of mandala photographs? When people say to me, “Enjoy yourself,” it can feel these days like they are speaking a foreign language.

Dear Mr. Neall: Patience, patience, patience. You already know what you are working through. You have found people to help you through it (plus us); you have a good home, and friends, good transportation (essential for where you live), a mentor in Campbell River [Science of Mind minister]. . . . Time for some gratitude practice? Being thankful for what you have makes you available for more. That’s how to build happiness. And you are doing it: awakening to love and light, fearlessness and freedom from worry, peaceful Buddha nature. . . . Basic goodness is growing in you, Neall. You, through your disciplines, are nurturing a new kind of life, one you barely know yet, but one you will like: empowered, self-regarding, aware, interested in and connected to the world, humorous, talented, creative, smiling.

That’s what I want.

That’s what’s coming.

And you are my steady partner in this transformation. Right?

You’ve got it! No more abandonments, craziness, emotional misadventures or dead-end hasty exits.

It’s a new kind of life. One I haven’t known . . . every.

Yet it is available, for those who diligently apply themselves.

I am willing to.

We know. That’s why we are here.

Thank you, thank you, and thank you.

You are welcome, Dear One. Claim all the good you can stand, at every level of life—health, career, finances, relationships: “Land of Hope and Glory.”

Having feelings of hopefulness is especially significant for me.

We know. And for others “in recovery” as well. . . . It is exactly what we can provide.

I keep forgetting that you are indispensable to living the Good Life.

Would you really want anything else? . . . Want it any other way than to be nourished and loved and partnered and supported and guided and companioned on life’s journey?

Not any more. Please remind me when I forget, when I stop singing “Land of Hope and Glory” or “Love Can Build A Bridge.”

We are always with you, Neall. Just keep asking. It is no effort for us to help you. As we’ve said previously, we are never tired.

Thank you. I notice I’m getting happier here. Probably because I’m communicating with a friend: someone who listens to me, who knows me well, who wants me in her / her life, who accepts me unconditionally in my struggle to grow, in my weaknesses and strengths.

You got it, Neall. That’s it in a nutshell . . . a “partnership in happiness.” . . . Keep persevering, growing in understanding of this kind of relationship. We are with you all the way. It’s a never-ending kind of thing. . . . Vaya con Dios. Your Higher Self, Saturday edition.

November 12, 2011: Home, Alder Crescent, Gold River, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Mr. Neall.

What’s the most important thing to know about my health / healing / recovery today? Again, I am grateful for this relationship.

Dear Mr. Neall: You are starting to see what healing is about: change—no matter what. Congratulations on a healthy encounter today with your landlady—another lightworker [visiting to replace a faulty ceiling fan / light fixture]. You know where this relationship came from [through my mentor in Courtenay], so you see how your courage is paying off. . . . This is the path, Neall; you are walking it step by step. . . . Acknowledge your every success; pat yourself on the back for having created a landlady you can communicate with and be in “partnership of wellness” with. . . . Think LOVE, Neall—all the time. No worries then. . . . Your Higher Self.

November 19, 2011: Home, Alder Crescent, Gold River, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Mr. Neall—with you always.

What’s the most important thing to know about my health / healing / recovery today? I could use some help with the lower back pain. And I need to acknowledge myself for engaging the new mentor who lives closer: the Science of Mind minister in Campbell River.

Indeed, Neall. You are finding the right people for a change in attitude; finding courage; being willing to grow; making time for your disciplines, especially when you don’t feel good; taking time to sit in the sun today. . . . Keep growing, Neall; seeking understanding; getting the right kind of support; affirming your wellness at every level; building positivity and hope; enjoying life; building the road of peace; learning to have fun; to fill in the gaps in your development; building your energetic vehicle, your friendships and your career. It’s a “big story” that’s being grown here, as you get glimpses of sometimes.

I had the powerful dream last night of living in Chicago with former hockey star turned executive Mario Lemieux, and him receiving a cheque for $50,000+. That cheered me up a lot today. An unusual, very clear dream.

Anything is possible when the mind starts to change, Mr. Neall. There is no judgment on you having money in quantities you haven’t had before. It will bring a smile to your face, n’est-ce pas?

Indeed . . . I am overdue. Too much suffering in poverty has added to the strain on my health.

And we support a timely end to your suffering at any and every level—physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, financial and social. . . . We are teachers of happiness, connecting with humanity for its upliftment through heart and mind growth. . . . Keep loving yourself, Mr. Neall—every day in every way, getting used to feeling worthy and deserving of good; having self-esteem at a greater level than any previous lifetime; reinventing yourself from “tired of being tired” to effective, assertive human being standing up for himself.

Please continue to guide me, to support continued growth and change—that’s what I want; what I am asking for.

Your request is heard, Mr. Neall. We are part of you, and as such support all growth into happiness and health and inner strength. Support, support, support—you want it, you got it, 24 / 7 in any weather.

Good. And I will continue my long silent meditations which bring me peace of mind—a blessed state I did without for too long.

You are learning, Mr. Neall, about what is important to you; getting your priorities straight. Congratulations. We like a peaceful mind, too, and are glad to partner with you in this quest—anytime, anywhere. . . . Keep asking, keep studying, keep practising your disciplines—you will grow. And you will like who you become: someone with self-esteem—an essential component of the Good Life. We want nothing else for you than your good and are willing to carry on this dialogue forever. We’ll never quit. We are eternal; we have lots of time. So there’s no pressure on you, Mr. Neall. Relax and enjoy every moment you can. . . . Your Higher Self: your guide and teacher, your friend always, Neall—no matter what.

November 23, 2011: Gold River Harbour on Muchalat Inlet, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are always with you, Mr. Neall, helping in any way we can.

So . . . I took on a proofreading project again. And once again I got bogged down in complications; once again I overworked and got stressed and had to withdraw for several days with a painful back. Once again, rather than spending time in contact with my Higher Self, which brings peace and happiness, I created suffering and torment. Will I ever learn? Another project is readying itself. At least the subject will be more cheerful—life in Provence, France—than a Stars Wars knock-off featuring small furry creatures.

Dear Neall: First of all, there is no judgment on any of this. Second: You are free to do as you like. Third: You are doing the best you know how to balance physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, financial and social aspects of life. As you get clearer where happiness lies, and clear that you deserve it, you will choose it more often. The more strongly you believe in love and light, the more of it you will have—in, around and through you. The same with joy, lightness and ease and happiness. . . . The more you practise your disciplines, the sooner you are ready to move to the next level of living. It’s all energy, as you are coming to believe. Believe in Star Peace rather than Star Wars and it’s yours.

What’s the most important thing to know about my health / healing / recovery today? How can I most effortlessly and efficaciously move out of misery, and feel good?

You’re doing it—communicating with a limitless, non-judgmental, eternal source of wisdom and love. “Keep us in mind,” as it is said. We are for you 100 percent and it never ends. . . . Let it in, Mr. Neall: this deep compassion for humans and their predicaments. Feel it in your mind and as your mind; let it enter your heart—where resides the courage to choose another path, over and over, moment by moment. . . . Remember, we are a friend, Neall—one who will never tire you out with chat; only give help, depending on the needs of the moment. . . . And we are always available, will never hurt or punish you, and will never abandon you. You are in good hands—with everything that that entails: safety, security, support. . . .

. . . Be of peace; be of good cheer; be love and be loved—because what you’ve always wanted has arrived: the Good Parent, the Answer, the New Dawn, the Acceptance, the Way. . . . We cannot leave you, Neall: We are you. That’s why this discipline is so important. You are talking to your (Higher) Self—the place of self-esteem, of humour, of forgiveness, of freedom from everything that troubles you. If it seems like a lot, that’s because you are used to thinking small. . . . Give yourself permission to think big, to think happy thoughts, to operate free from fear and worry—we guarantee you will like it. And we won’t leave you then, either. We’ll be in you as the smile on your face. . . .

. . . Yes, it is the “language” you are seeking: the language of the red-orange-yellow-pink aura; the language of happiness; the language of peace, tranquillity and calm, free from torment. . . . Embrace it, Neall, and it’s yours. . . . Embrace us and we’re yours (as you already understand). . . . So . . . take the time, Neall, for your disciplines. Never forget us. You will build unforgettable experiences—a life unimaginable even a short time ago. . . . Build it, grow it, live it, Mr. Neall. We are your eternal partners in these changes to a bigger life. . . . Vaya con Dios (Go with God). Your friend, mentor, confrère, confabulator, co-conspirator, co-comedian, cabalisto, coach and general picker-upper-in-times-of-need.

November 28, 2011: Home, Alder Crescent, Gold River, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, brother Neall.

I’m asking for help today. Despite “doing all the right things”—relaxing, meditating, exercising, Buddhist deep breathing technique, affirmations—I’m in a lot of back pain and feeling tormented. I’ve dreamed that a car engine is sitting on the ground away from its vehicle, so I take it I’ve lost my power, perhaps lost my body / mind connection. What is happening, and what can I do to feel more peaceful and happy, more balanced today?

Dear Neall: As you contemplate / build a new, empowered style of life, a new career “standing on your own two feet” free of trauma—as you visualized clearly when you composed the letter yesterday to your friend M.B.—the old conditions appear more strongly. . . . We are with you, as we always are, with compassion for your situation, as you “build the road of peace before us / build it wide and deep and long” [from “Ode to Joy”], as you were singing yesterday on your daily walk. You also imagined a beautiful Rolls Royce or Bentley, so you haven’t “lost touch” for long. . . . Getting free of the book editing you’re doing will make you feel better. You are getting clearer that editing is no longer appropriate activity for you, as “working” is a lower-frequency vibration than you like to operate at now, as you contemplate / build a new career / life direction operating from your Higher Self. And your spiritual self is not recognized in that world. And you like to be with your spiritual self, because that brings an end to suffering; brings happiness, peace, hope, heart, health—the Good Life, which you have spent a long time seeking, and now want to experience as much as possible. . . .

. . . We are with you in this, Mr. Neall. We can coach you in becoming happier forever. We will be with you as you take this next step in your evolution, the next step in faith and trust that something good is happening, that “you will get through this” (as a message that you received, reported in these pages, uplifted you several years ago). . . . Believe, believe, believe [deep yawns (shift of energy)]. See your new life; visualize it: empowered, healthy, focused, forward-looking, compassionate, self-forgiving, relaxed. No more self-punishment; instead, ecstasy / bliss / peace. You will be someone you like. . . .

That will be a good day.

Indeed. . . . You are learning the lessons of lifetimes, Neall—or rather unlearning. . . . Learning to trust in eternal life—the life that always was and always will be. Believe that this is available to you—because it is. Freedom from fear and worry: the Good Life—with Neall’s name written on it.

I accept all the help I can get with this. I know it’s what I want.

So do we.

My mind has begun singing a song: “God fills all the universe, its presence is in everything . . .” [often sung to open a service at Centre for Spiritual Living centres].

And why not? . . . Vaya con Dios, compañionero. Call on us any time.

December 1, 2011: Gold River Harbour on Muchalat Inlet, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Mr. Neall.

What’s the most important thing to know about my health / healing / recovery today? What would my friend / mentor / compañionero God want me to know today? How would He / She / It deal with this exhaustion . . . this constant attention needing to be paid to my health? I want to believe that something good is happening here; that our friendship is intact; that I can live free from self-judgment and self-punishment; that I am building hopefulness—a new, happier way of life. What can you tell me that would bring a smile to my face today, dear, dear Higher Self?

Hello, Mr. Neall. Think back to just yesterday—how masterfully you dealt with several situations. [A wobbling vehicle issue got more and more severe as I drove remote Highway 28 from Gold River to Campbell River. I went into constant prayer until I slowly made it to Campbell River and could get to a tire store. As I pulled in and got out of my van, an employee emerged from the building and greeted me like a long-lost friend. As I waited, I prayed constantly for the effective, effortless and economical work of the mechanics, and that I had only a wheel-balance problem. When the work was done, I was told that one of the back wheels had been far out of balance (despite being balanced only a month before). Although both wheels had been attended to, I was told I was only being billed for the one that needed the most attention, so $21.88 was the total.] You effectively managed fear and worry on the road and again in the shop, waiting for the diagnosis. . . .

. . . Then you had your dental appointment and emerged two and a half hours later (triple root canal) feeling better than when you arrived [as I now pray to be in all such situations]. . . . You have changed, Mr. Neall, you have changed. . . . Enjoy your freedom from victimization; freedom from fear and worry through mental practice; through the invocation of love and light.

Thank you. Indeed, I am changing at last.

Yes. As you continue to study life, you see the kinds of challenges other people have risen above. As you read in a newsmagazine yesterday at the dentist’s office, former (hamburger-loving) U.S. president Bill Clinton, facing a third heart surgery, instead changed to a vegan diet [no meat, no dairy; includes almond milk, pulses, grains, fruit and vegetables] and regained his cardiovascular health and lost 20 pounds. . . . Just so, you can change too, Mr. Neall (and you are, as just discussed). . . . You are starting to see your priorities: stretching / yoga and meditation before sleep last night instead of TV; daily walks of 1.5 – 2 miles; yoga this morning for an hour. This is the real life: self-care instead of self-punishment; self-esteem rather than self-hatred: nourishment at every level. . . . These are the steps in becoming happier (and healthier).

Thank you. [I got cold sitting in the car and headed home.]

December 3, 2011: Home, Alder Crescent, Gold River, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, dear Mr. Neall—with you always.

What’s the most important thing to know about my health / healing / recovery today? I spent five minutes talking to my intimate friend J. on the phone and right away the “broken back syndrome” or nerve inflammation issue starts acting up. It seems to be true that “love brings up anything unlike itself”—in my case, the inability to stand up straight in the world, and to experience happiness. . . . How can I best deal with / put an end to / overcome this level of suffering?

Hello, Mr. Neall, on this “Saturday night’s all write” evening—another example of your disciplined behaviour. . . . Your EFT sessions, alone or with W.G. in Comox can help with this—as you are already thinking. So does your mantra meditation and your yoga, as “union with the divine” [the meaning of the word ‘yoga’] releases physical holding and brings in the light, the Spirit. So do your affirmations—they train your mind to follow a different track than ‘brokenness,’ as in ‘wholeness,’ completeness, holiness, equanimity and so on. . . .

. . . As you train yourself out of self-criticism and self-punishment, everything in your life will improve. You will get a smile on your face more often; you’ll be happier; you’ll think less catastrophically; you’ll be living a more positive philosophy; you’ll feel more warmth in your heart and suffer less from chills than you do now (it’s already happening). Our relationship is helping with all of this, Neall. That’s the benefit of knowing us, of “staying in touch.” We are the positive mother / father you never had; the nourishment you are craving in your mind and soul and body. Let it in. . . . Be nourished now. True nourishment never hurts; never interferes; only helps. . . . TRUST, Neall that this is available for you: an end to seeking; a beginning of receiving, of being blessed, of deep . . . healing . . . love and caring. . . . Real family. . . . A family for Christmas. . . .

I accept. I accept. I accept. . . . . Is there anything I can do to strengthen this contact at this time?

Take the time / make the time to believe in yourself and where you’re going now—that you are on a path—for Good—in every sense of the term. Do whatever it takes to stay on that path—also known as the Path of Happiness. Congratulations on your progress so far. You have found “the end of the thread,” as it is described. As you can feel within yourself at this moment, you don’t want to lose it again—it’s your connection to All That Is, to real life. . . . There is more to go, as you know; there will always be more to go, more expansion possible. It’s called the Circle of Life—the circle, as it is said, “whose centre is everywhere, whose circumference is nowhere” [perhaps from Timaeus of Locris, in Plato]. Claim your place, Neall. We are there with you. . . . Vaya con Dios. Your Higher Self.

Thank you. This is “good news.”

December 8, 2011: Timmy Ho’s, Cliffe Avenue, Courtenay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are with you, Neall.

What’s the most important thing to know about my health / healing / recovery today? Yesterday was full of stimulation, including clipping a deer at 80 km/hr on Highway 28. Very unfortunate for the deer, and fortunate for me that I didn’t hit it head-on and damage something vital on my vehicle. There was a powerful reconnection with my house-sitting client in Union Bay (a long-time student of psychology), and fill-in financial support arriving from J.; also a big decision to send post-dated rent cheques for the next nine months for the Gold River apartment—a leap of faith.

You are turning all of your affairs over to your Higher Self, Neall—a wise decision; one that will increase your level of happiness. . . . Stay with your program, even through your setback of back pain the last few days. As you are aware, you are “becoming a person you like.” This is the most important thing of all—what allows you to move forward; that pulls you forward; that helps you overcome setbacks, seeing them as temporary. . . . Like your White Rock friend, M.D., we like you and hold you in high regard. Keeping these friendships in your thoughts uplifts you endlessly—you, Neall, in a “mutual admiration society,” in the words of your friend. How long has it taken?—yet the past doesn’t matter. It’s what has brought you to this moment of self-acceptance; of social success. Enjoy it; let it in; let all your success in: home, supportive sweetheart, supportive Higher Self connection (read faith); financial awareness growth; awareness of, and connection to, the Path of Happiness. . . . And we are with you in all of it; and we will never leave you, Neall . . . ever. Take that thought with you in your affairs today. . . . Vaya con Dios. Your Higher Self.

December 10, 2011: House-sitting, Fifth Street, Union Bay, BC

I wish to speak to my Higher Self.

We are here, friend Neall.

Friendship, relaxation, love, non-judgmentalness—it’s all I want these days. And peacefulness . . . through the presence of my Higher Self. . . . What’s the most important thing to know about my health / healing / recovery today? I want to focus on building wellness now—no more ‘adventures’ with book editing that drain me and cause over-stress, then feelings of hopelessness. I’m asking my Higher Self to show me another way to create income; to help me build a career as a healer; to help me live from divine intelligence and love, from my Spirit; to connect to the path of happiness and peace.

Dear Neall: We will do everything in our power to guide you to the kind of lifestyle you are seeking. Remember: When you are happy, we are happier—just as happens between you and your student / companion / sweetheart J. What you focus on grows, as you are learning; and as you put yourself into a positive frame of mind, the kinds of change you want will happen. . . . Exercising your spiritual muscles creates results, just as does exercising your physical muscles. New pathways are created—the pathways to The Good Life you are developing: a life free from fear and worry; a life of friendship and companionship, creativity and healing, music and love.

What is the most important thing to know about changing my health for the better tonight . . . other than staying in this dialogue?

You’ve got it, Neall: Thinking about friendship, love, safety, support, guidance, eternity, unlimitedness, universality is the best thing you can do to change your life for the better. We are your biggest supporter for happiness: your mentors, guides, wellness experts of high quality. Trust, Neall, that we are with you. Declare it, affirm it, proclaim it, state it. Then you have built the pathway for us to help you, as we did early yesterday morning in your moments of exhaustion and despair with the message, “You are going to be all right,” spoken with conviction and resonating with the power of the universe behind it, so that your mood was instantly transformed. . . . This is the path, Mr. Neall: believing that the universal forces are available to you at all times, in all places, no matter what, helping to uplift, heal and transform pain and unhappiness into effective living. Claim it, Neall: Claim this Good; this beauty. . . . As we’ve stated before: We will never let you down, ever; never abandon you; never judge you; only uplift and be a most solid friend, or whatever you need . . .

. . . This is what we do, Neallit’s our “job description.” We have nothing else to do, nowhere to rush off to; endless patience and healing light. Take all you need tonight: fill up with love and light. Feel good; feel renewed, hopeful, guided, nurtured, freed from travail and concern, relaxed, courageous, empowered, revitalized, lighter, more certain, more secure, more trusting, mentally agile, at peace. . . . We offer all this and more, much more, from an unlimited, eternal supply. We are never tired (‘exhaustion’ is a foreign language to us) or lacking in anything, including a sense of humour. And you can connect with us any day, and all day if you need to.

You are starting to reach me. I’m beginning to feel a little betterand I’d like to feel a lot better.

We can do that too. “Stay tuned” . . .

It’s about self-love, isn’t it? And putting an end to self-hatred and self-punishment. I seem to have “dropped out of school.”

We never quit on anyone, so no need to quit on yourself, Mr. Neallups and downs,” et cetera. . . . Find the love; find the heart; forgive yourself; let it go; let go and let God (your Higher Self).

Thank you.

Vaya con Dios, Mr. Neall. Your always-available Higher Self, indefatigable Source.

*     *     *

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